that Outlaw Visionary within
the Soul, it is stretching
and yet again
that Outlaw Visionary within
the Soul, it is stretching
and yet again
So last year, I made a list of 20 things that I learned in my 20′s. Well, here are a few things I learned @ 30:
A Shout Out to my Teacher/Homie, Adya. Big thx Grandma Universe! Big thx!
God was in that Threesome
So this is the book where I get to share more about Adya and the spiritual stuff we discuss. I was remarking how awesome it was to complete the first book, see how I had no beef with my family, that my stuff was all me and how I realized that not only genetically am I like my parents but I inherited a number of their traits and I’m really down with that. So Adya being Adya goes: Exactly my Dear-uh. Your parents done got together, your Mom gave the egg, your Dad the sperm, and God your Soul, Dear-uh. God was the other member of that threesome.
I am always surprised by Adya which amazes me more and more each time. As I mentioned previously about mirrors, Adya is the perfect mirror for being out there. The same day she made the above comment she was talking about how she and I were an odd couple. She’s 72. I’m 31. She’s from New York. I’m from Hawaii. It’s a funny pair to see around I’m sure, now that I think about it. Adya is one of the most honest people and what I like the most is that she doesn’t have time for the bullshitting. I don’t either. I spent a lot of time doing that and I am not going to use, I’m still young anymore because the years fly by. My calling at 23 flew by to 30 and I could finally feel what it was like to be mindful. Again, I’m not totally out there but I have experienced it. I’ve experienced things that I can’t explain and to have someone like Adya in my life, it helped me to understand that what I was going through was in fact valid.
It’s all you my Dear-uh, she would say. And it is.
Note: you can find more from It’ll Be Okay… here.
Eyes, they say are but windows you see
windows into the deep recess of the Soul
into a place where only the thread woven by
Spirit can touch…
Eyes, genuinely open
yet with a hint of uncertainty
for the road ahead is unclear
don’t worry, you’ll make it…
I can see the glimmer
of Light as it is kindled
in the Eyes
It is that glimmer
of Light as it is kindled
that will Light the way.
Through the Dark
Though it may be Deep.
Awaken the Night
Where the True You is asleep.
“Just when I thought I was out. They pull me back in…” Michael Corleone, The Godfather Pt. 3
So I’ve been thinking about retiring from the Psychic game. Kind of like a few years back I retired from writing commentary to focus on poetry (that lasted a few months). Well… See above.
On my birthday, May 26, two children from Arizona, A.J. and Ashlee (‘Two E’s” she made sure to say), came by and asked how much. I read kids for free because it feels right for me. They sat down and I asked their names and what were their dreams, something I never did before. I don’t know why I did that but I did and I wrote it down in my journal. I asked A.J. what sport he played because I knew that he did. He said baseball and said he wants to be a Pro Baseball Player and Ashlee wanted to be a Cheerleader (she doesn’t see it yet but she can also be a CEO, it was in her cards).
Well I read them and it was cool to say the least and A.J. offered to give me a dollar. That’s alot for kid and I appreciated the offer. My closing words to him were: write your dream down and look at it twice a day, focus on it, and you’ll get wherever you want.
I entertained, I joked about how I wanted to be Indiana Jones, a Pirate, or Pro Wrestler as a kid. I also added my fourth dream of helping people. Well, I’ve come to the conclusion was that my dream was to see that all of life is an adventure hence the action oriented ideas and because of how my life has unfolded, these gifts in writing and intuition, I can help people.
Later that night, a douchebag reader who dangled money in front of me but I speculate his goal was to get me out of the Tree came by and that was interesting to say the least. What I took from it all is that I have a gift and while I may not be a millionaire (yet, I will have the experience when it’s the time), I am there not just for me, but there to give to others. My whole life I wanted to believe it was possible to do something I loved that was fulfilling and would help others. I thank God that I found two in writing and as a psychic.
My boss, Zabia, suggested I get a book and keep track of all the names and dates of birth of people I read. Last night I did that and wrote:
*A.J. Major League Baseball Player
*Ashlee Cheerleader and CEO
Below that I wrote: I did all this work on myself for them. Then I drew an arrow pointing up.
I did that because I believe in dreams and we need to add to the message. I’m not saying what I think is better. I just think it’s an appropriate time to add more flavor. I made a video recently and shared it with my Dad. His words: I like your philosophy Kiddo, much better message than what I heard, find a job, work hard, contribute to society.
I think that message his generation heard holds true, it just needs an adjustment: work hard at finding you, create a job that you love because if you’re stoked, that will contribute to society.
No sooner than I finished writing down in my book the names of A.J. and Ashlee did I look up and see them. They came to say good-bye because they didn’t know if they would see me again. A.J. had the second strongest handshake I ever felt, I give him a few years and it will be the strongest as he was still young. The first was my Grandfather who passed last year. His last words: You remember, Young. You remember.
I believe the purpose of this life is to remember that the Soul is quite powerful and we are here to live in this dream fully because it is just a blink, just a stroke of the brush.
Thank you A.J. and Ashlee. Thank you both very much. That was the greatest birthday gift ever to meet the two of you and realize that there was a purpose to this whole thing I’ve believed in for so long. A.J. would come back again by himself to say good-bye again and man, it was like everything came full-circle. I don’t know where my road leads but I’ll keep taking it all in.
Today I awoke and I was all about getting the Acai Bowl from Lanikai Juice. I mean I was bout it bout it! Well, messages from The Universe, Grandma Universe, that is, and her Invisible Thread had a different idea…
I got downstairs to the street and heard: McDonald’s. I was like what? Really? No… I crossed the street, Acai on the the brain and I got there to see a huge line. Again I heard: McDonald’s. I was like okay, when I am Mindful and pay attention to the prompts, something always goes down, I better listen. Usually not what I would have thought but the pleasant surprises of being in the moment are usually quite remarkable.
So I walked down the street, thinking I would just pass by. Then I heard: Eggs. I’m like great. Now, I’ve had much experience listening to messages and following the Invisible Thread and I know it is important to pay attention. So I tabled Jason’s agenda and went with Grandma Universe’s directives.
I walk in McDonald’s, probably the second time this whole year. I don’t eat Fast Food much these days nor am I much of a meat eater for a few reasons. I walked in and waited in line. I got to the counter and noticed the clerk was wearing a star pendant in a heart. She seemed rather unhappy so I decided to compliment her on the pendant. The smile that she let out was stupendous. She was beaming, like she could not stop. I commented: see the star is sparkling just like you.
Now as much as I wasn’t that interested in McDonald’s, to see that woman smile, was well worth it. I’ll follow the Invisible Thread for that any day.
As if my life isn’t already an adventure…
Last night I celebrated my birthday @ work, turning 31, after a crazy 30th year. It was a cool night, not only did I read cards, palms, and energy for peeps but I also gave “fortunes” (souvenirs I made with different sayings).
Be sure to check out the mix-tape look of It’ll Be Okay… etc. etc. super long rest of the title and peak at this from another Project I’m working on about Grandma Universe and based on some true events:
A Letter to Grandma Universe and “Sir”
I also had a visit from a gentlemen that only wanted to be known as “Sir.” He’d popped into my space a few times trying to get me to leave the tree. He was always pushing money on me, always implying that there were greener pastures elsewhere.
Well listen up “Sir” because I know you are out there. I wasn’t scared, you can get behind me because I got Grandma Universe. Your time of pushing fear is over. I am not buying it. Nor am I buying that you were trying to help me. Good mask though. I used it, it was filled with hurt.
And guess what Bro because we are all her Grand Children you know? She never stopped loving you. Never will.
So, if you want a lesson, I’ll be glad to facilitate that. As for me taking lessons from you. No thanks. I’ve rolled with fear for a long time. I’m sticking with Love, homie. And I might be doing this card reading thing a bit longer even though you didn’t want me to. ; D
Relating to the Unknown
This is the best story I have. Maybe not, but life shifting fo’sho and a big reason why I wrote this book. When I turned 30, I made a list of 20 things that I learned in my 20′s and put it on my blog: www.TheSimpleVoice.Com (shameless plug for a blog I kept for many years). Number (I don’t know off the top of my head, maybe you should visit the site…) on the list was about worry. I estimated that I worried like 7.5 years or maybe it was 8 in my 20’s. I’d look it up but I am not using the Internet and honestly, I don’t want to uber edit. This book is never going to be perfect. Books never are for writers. For me, I change so much, I have so much to say, I just got to do it and be done with it. And I’m okay with that. I’m going treat this like it’s my first album then get back into the studio to record the next one.
Worry too much, did I, as Delta, would say. Delta’s a character I encountered at 24, shortly after being told I would have a higher calling… That’s quite the story and talk about not knowing what was about to go down. So now, I will tell you about Roy…
This is from my other book, A Call to Love, Chapter Uno:
“Excuse me.” A short, local Asian man said. Before I could answer, he began to squeeze past me to the window seat aboard a Hawaiian Airlines flight from Hilo to Honolulu. I was attempting to absorb the concept of Mindfulness as presented in Thich Nhat Hahn’s book Peace is Every Step, the big point of that book being to just breathe and smile, a concept that was simple felt so good yet was so hard to practice.
I looked up and was able to breathe, forgot to smile, but somehow found the presence of mind to move aside for him. I took some satisfaction in that because it took me until the age of 11 to really be able to ride a bicycle. I was not natural at very many things in my body growing up to say the least.
I felt a deep peace while focusing my attention on presence to my breathing, a peace that lasted so briefly, but filled me in a way I had never been filled before. The smiling was kind of foreign to me. I had spent much of my adolescence and early 20′s in depression and self-loathing so this smiling thing was something I had not practiced with regularity since childhood. I used anger to protect my deeper feelings from various accumulated baggage in life. Not that I had a bad life, I just didn’t understand this conflict that I had while trying to live in this world. I can recall many times resenting having feelings, despising my humanity. I hated feeling because I could always feel so much pain, in myself, in my family, in friends. I did not understand it worth a lick and being sensitive wasn’t cool for a 20-something young man so I wore my many masks. Factor in that I had no idea of what my purpose in life was and I felt lost and frustrated with my existence.
The flight from the Big Island of Hawaii to Oahu was an hour at most and it usually felt much quicker for me. I was so programmed to getting to point B without enjoying the journey it took to flow from Point A. This day was different, I closed my eyes to practicing my breathing and smiling.
I awoke to the Captain’s closing remarks. “Please adjust your seat backs and tray tables. We’ll be landing shortly. On behalf of the crew, thank you for choosing to fly Hawaiian.” I stretched and felt like the man next to me was watching me. I looked at him and he told me, “That’s good you read books like that.”
“I’m training in Muay Thai and I really enjoy the philosophy behind it.” I replied excitedly as Muay Thai was something that I loved for the energy it gave me. The practice made the ugly bruises and lumps all worth it. I gazed past him and could see the city where I was born, Honolulu, through the window beside him. I always enjoyed flying into Honolulu at night because the outcropping of buildings and lights between the valleys looked like a modern day technological lava flow.
The plane made its descent as usual. There I sat. Breathing and…
Shock, fear raced through me as the plane made a sharp turn upwards. I could feel the concern growing in the passengers near me as panic spread throughout the aircraft. All except for the man next to me, I felt his calm energy.
The plane leveled off and I made a weak joke about the experience, humor being one of the things I had learned to mask my true emotions. The man smiled at me and said, “Don’t worry, it won’t be 40 or more years until you start to question if your work here on Earth is over.”
“What the…?” I started to say and stopped mid-sentence as I started to get a strange tingling all through out my body, a feeling that I have since learned means there is something greater at play. “My name is Roy. I read spirits.” He said in the same fashion as someone who worked in an office would.
“Um, hi, I’m Jason, I read books as long as they aren’t for class…” I thought to myself.
“We haven’t much time. I’m connecting to Maui and we’ll land shortly.”
I was taken out of my thoughts, back to the plane that was still in the air and wondering what had just happened. So much for mindfulness, in a few short moments, I’d gone from breathing and smiling to “May day! May day!” to the noonoo noonoo Twilight Zone. “Sorry for that folks. This is your Captain, we were having a little trouble with the landing gear. We’ve adjusted the problem and will be on the ground shortly.”
I had read and heard about psychic people but never paid it much mind. Magic was only for the fantasy novels I grew up with and movies as far as I was concerned.
Roy interrupted my thoughts and started on “You have a very calm and peaceful spirit.” I laughed and replied, “You know, it’s funny, I get like that only in times of emergencies at work.” I was working as a Resident Advisor at the University of Hawaii and was bombing in school and relationships but great at conflict resolution, addressing suicide attempts, and breaking up fights.
“It’s because you care.” He continued. “Jesus cared too, he cared so much in fact that he gave us the greatest commandment, the commandment to love above all else, and would later give his life for what he believed.”
I nodded my head in agreement. At that time, I had just changed my major to Horticultural Business, I had like 5 majors, but I always gravitated towards Religion classes and I could get down with Jesus though I’d walked away from Catholicism shortly before graduating from high school. For some reason, it didn’t totally fit me and I vibed with elements of Buddhism, Hinduism, and Islam. It just all seemed like it was saying the same thing to me…
“You have the chance to be great… or mediocre. The choice is yours really.” Roy seemed to finish right as the plane landed. My brain was about to explode from this experience yet my heart finally felt okay like I had been reminded about some long forgotten truth…
The plane rolled to the terminal and I asked Roy a few more questions that I cannot recall. I found the coincidence that he sat next to me quite interesting.
“There’s no such thing as coincidence. Every thing happens for a reason my young friend.” Roy replied.
We gathered our things and walked off the plane, the crowded terminal abuzz with people coming and going. I felt like I was in the Matrix. What a shocking experience!
We shook hands and before leaving he looked at me again and said, “In your life, you will have two guides to mentor you, a Hawaiian man and a Hawaiian woman, like modern day Kahuna. They will help you start along your spiritual path.” He paused, allowing the words to sink in.
“Breathe, Jason, just breathe.” An inner voice guided me.
“The Spirit of the Hawaiian Islands, Akua, has a higher calling for you.” He smiled and like that he was gone. I don’t recall if I watched him leave or if I could even believe what had just transpired. After all, things like that don’t just happen, do they?
I left and headed back to the University of Hawaii, to get back to work and life. I practiced my breathing and smiling, began to high-five trees to remind me to enjoy life around me, and left the meeting with Roy at that.
Kind of a trip of a flashback, huh? Dude I bet if you looked back you’d find conversations of similar tones, maybe minus the words spiritual calling but you catch my drift: random stranger coming in at random time to say random thing which has a profound impact of the most random type. The messages are all around us really.
Roy said a great many things to me, obviously. The bit about being great or mediocre really stuck out. Stuck with me every day since. Doesn’t haunt me but I do want to be great at being me. I would be happy to hear if just one person feels that way because of reading this. I would be happy to get laughed at too. I would be happy even if this doesn’t make it off my computer because life’s a pretty passing thing anyway, I wouldn’t hold on to it, and I have learned that’s the secret to life, the only thing that really matters about the Unknown:
It’s a Divine Comedy. Don’t hold on or hold back. Live. Love. Laugh. And gosh have fun and play! Cause when it’s done, it’s done.
Note: What’s good World! JMAW here. Still writing. Made it this far, can’t stop, won’t stop (just ask Diddy, jk). Anyhow, I thought I would put another “track” from the book, It’ll Be Okay… (long winded rest of the title) out for you to spock.
Stay tuned to the same simple voice blog, same simple voice URL. I’ll keep popping ‘em off and keep pushing on to publication.
To support the cause to not only get published, but to fight something far worse than the Zombie Apocalypse, yup, the rampant Mindlessness that plagues the world, join the FB group.
THX and Chee huu to each and every one of you!
Relating to Loss
I’m going to get rolling on this area since it was the feeling of Loss or Being Lost that kind of prompted this whole thing anyway I imagine.
Loss is a very powerful experience in life. It’s not only in the form of Death but there is job loss, relationship loss, loss of children, loss of home, loss of pets, there is even hair loss. I’ve experienced every one of those except hair loss. My friend (he’s editing this wink, wink) says he made a deal to go grey with his hair in exchange for not losing it. I’ll just grow mine and see where that leads me.
Loss is just one of those things that is all around. I am not a fan, let me tell you, not a fan. I can accept it though. I learned a few things about loss along the way.
Grieve. But before we get to grieving…
When I was a kid, I was super sensitive. As I’ve mentioned, I discovered the reason behind that is that I’m Intuitive and can really feel what is going on around me. Trouble was I didn’t know totally what was going on in me so I didn’t have a steady place to stand. When you don’t have a solid place to stand it’s easy to get lost in life period, so when something creeps along and is taken away, it’s pretty lame.
I think most of us feel lost at times, not really knowing where to go, who we are, those big life questions. I’ve grown up with this dialogue all around me so it doesn’t seem like anything new. The kids I see around these days are freaking brilliant so it’s neat to see how getting older shows you a lot about who you are. Maybe I was that brilliant too, I just couldn’t observe it from the other side. Kids are amazing!
I don’t feel lost anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing beyond being alive and that is filled with a variety of things but I really don’t feel lost. I guess that’s because I feel like it’s very important to be well with me, me inside. All the great teachings and every tradition seem to talk about things like that. Being who I am must be important, eh?
But I am many things, play many roles in life, and sometimes those things get taken away, those roles change. So what do you do, solid or not? I say grieve. Holding that stuff in just festers and ends up kicking ass later.
And move on. My Mom worked at Sears after graduating college for like 36 years. She went into the management program and didn’t look back. She left earlier than she expected because the culture there was changing and I speculate her soul felt it was time. She would email me and tell me that she didn’t know who she was at one point after this happened.
I remember seeing how frustrated and mad she was. I can see why that is now. She had given a huge part of her life to it and it didn’t end the way she thought it would. But, as life and her will would have it, I got to witness my Mom’s rebirth.
She started doing this summer program with Kamehameha Schools and decided that she would go back to college to get a degree in Hawaiian Studies. She was so kick-ass at it that the Professors would ask her to go to grad-school and people would call her to get notes. She opted to keep going with her creativity, making cool shadow boxes, and working in the yard. LOL, she loves working in the yard.
It was hard for a bit for her but she resiliently turned it around and she’s a really different person. It could have gone a different way. She could have stayed angry about it and done nothing. But she didn’t and I’m proud that I got to witness such a strength in my life to move through loss of one role, the end of one phase of life, and transition into another.
So Mom, next time you ask me, when I am getting a job or why I am pushing so hard on the writing, I’m going to say I got it from you ; ) Joke, much love!
So I am contemplating retirement from the Psychic Game, thinking about it for a bit. The Game is just not the same, n’ah mean? But last night two women came in to give me a couple ideas which got the wheel spinning…
I meet all these Intuitives and Psychics who travel around the world off of doing it and they’re like: Bro, do this, you’re on point, you can do it. Well, I’ve got a Virgo Rising, so the random wandering doesn’t quite work for me, because a part of me values stability and I have to honor all parts, not just the crazy side (I know, I rant about why I don’t really vibe with Astrology myself yet there I, the Gemini, in my Sun Sign power month, go on about my Virgo Rising, maybe it’s because I’ve got the intense Scorpio moon going on). Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to and will be traveling around the world, giving giving readings/consults, giving talks about Okay-Ness. But this is like a trade that I can do and I’m switching the gears to be available on a limited or by appointment basis. BECAUSE you know what they say about doing what you’re passionate about and it works out when you stick with it? Well Psychic Readings are not my passion, it’s just something that I can do well. Life is my passion. Living, the experience is my passion. Writing truly is my love..
No disrespect to anyone. None whatsoever, I just lived my life with people telling me what to do, I’ll listen, I’ll take care, and of the advice I was given last night, I’m going to keep on going with what I’m doing in the Arts because that’s what I feel in my Heart and I truly appreciate the ideas you’ve given because it’s given me another vibration and it’s forged the resolve that much more.
My Heart has carried me this far, every time I was so close, right at that place, right about to take the step and I let my fear hinder me. Well, not anymore. This is it. This is it because it has to be because it’s Me, I’ve arrived.
The whole point of being called on a spiritual journey, as I was so eight years ago, was to realize this: I’m a Writer. I’m an Author. I’m a Conscientious Observer of Life. That it is possible to live our dream, to sit within that part of us that is pure potential, and have the faith, the persistence, the drive to make it happen. Three people looked at me in awe when I told them I finished my book in three weeks, writing/editing, then I started the next one. One woman told me that gave her hope. Another woman asked me if it’s been hard. Yes, it was at times, but it brought me here, introduced me to my Soul, the Inner Me, a place I met when my brain was jarred a few years ago, and a place I have returned.
I let money and the safe bet keep me from taking the leap before. I found success, did all those things and they were cool experiences, but never the experience that resonate from deep within. The thing that kept me so unsettled with the mediocrity of my existence. Well, I took the Fool’s Leap of trusting the nocturnal dreams, the intuition, following the signs because fear hindered me for too long, torn what I loved most out of my life. It all seems so long ago so there’s no turning back now really is there? Plus it’s brought me to a new person, a person that looks so different, at times I don’t recognize who is looking back in the mirror.
I’m okay with my Virgo, earth-based wanting stability, to help people, etc.. I allow that. And I know whatever I choose, It’ll Be Okay… (shameless plug for my book) because I am Human. I know that. But I’m also a Being of pure energy. And I’m ready to allow that part of me to walk in this existence. That’s what this whole thing has been about. It’s never been about anyone else though I think I have some things to share that could help.
It’s been about me. Because I believe that we can fly.
It’s about my children, so that they have a better life from the start than I did, not because my life sucked, but because I believe we are here to create a healthier world for the future. I am committed to giving my children that. So I’m not about to be a hypocrite to them. I’ve been hypocritical at times in my life but I refuse to do that in regards to the most important thing, what I believe in the most, Family.
I also believe in that part of us that carried man from sticks and caves to guns and man-made caves. The thing that’s going to take us further than we can imagine because it has for so long. It’s our Love, it’s our creativity, it’s our ability to rise above and live fully, to impact and create a healthier world, all based on ideas, things that their inventor, the person who came up with them, tapped into the ether and believed in wholly, things that saw so many fail, so many fall, only to press forward and finally make it in that eleventh hour.
The secret, written in all those books, preached through all of time is about trusting that still, that simple voice with the best ideas, far more powerful than that of the mind, that simple voice of the Heart, choosing to love, to do what’s loving to the holistic being for we are all One. And that is what healing is about.
I’m not saying, I’m throwing caution to the wind. I took my lumps that way. I realize the value of planning. I have a plan. I have a solid one. One that I believe in. One that I don’t need anyone else to believe in for me. No, not anymore. I know this place, this place of who I Am, and why I Am here this time around. I know the steps I’m taking this time where in the past I spun around in circles, I backed off as soon as the pressure kicked, as soon as I couldn’t see anymore, as soon as the doubt kicked in. I’m a Human. I’m a Being. Whereas I was too much of one and not enough of the other in all those instances, I’m bringing both to the table this time.
So, get your readings while you can people. Take advantage of the opportunity to see me in the Tree. I’ll be there a bit longer but I feel the energy calling once again, I can feel it carrying me. The winds that I was waiting for, for so long have already arrived, and now I feel the wave, I feel that it has arrived, the wave of what it means to truly be alive, to truly live. It was always there, oh so close, I just didn’t know how to combine it all to see it. I felt it, but now I recognize it where it is. It is Here and Now, where it was all along.
That wave that I have been calling on, praying for, asking for, for oh so, so long but it’s only been a blink, yet really that Now, each moment is all there is anyway. I’ll enjoy it every step of the way. I’ll enjoy every reading like it’s my last, every moment like it’s the last, because when it’s done, it’s done, and I’ll tell you what: I am ready.
And so are you! Which is why I did this whole damn thing in the first place.
Just Be. Just Breathe. Don’t Stop. Just Believe.