“Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13
As a spiritual person, I’ve been told my meditation is love and have pondered this statement for some time.
On Faith
During my 49 days (okay so it took me longer than 40…) in the “desert” it was faith that I was challenged the most with. I did not understand one thing that was going on because my ego was in such conflict with my heart and the illusion of the 3D reality seemed pretty clear. But as I have grown with Spirit, I have experienced how life goes far beyond the 3D world that the eyes behold. My story about the journey is a lengthy one but in sum, I have to say there is such great magic at play when we allow ours eyes to be opened. I cannot help but believe that something greater is at work in my life.
This something speaks in a way that makes my heart beat.
On Hope
While hope was a challenge, it was not as challenging as faith. I’d turned my back on faith two decades ago so hope was an easier pill to swallow as I’d ridden a roller coaster of ups’n'downs throughout my life and recalled that things could be worse and always got better in time. The magic, the non-sense type of things that occurred on my journey gave me more and more hope as time went on. Hope for myself, hope for what I want out of life, hope that the world may someday be kinder than it is today, an inspiration that was a reminder to me during a conversation about Star Trek and making peace. That person made me see the the Sacred goodness in life again.
It is hope that makes my heart sing.
On Love
And the greatest of these is love. I have tried to be unconditionally loving and have often fell far short in my life, but love is the most natural of these things for me. I see how it is Love, who carried me every step of the way through my entire life.
It is Love that makes my heart dance.
On Dancing
Dancing to the beat of Love, though life is unknown, is what makes it so awe-some. Love has made me strive to be a better person. It has taught me who I truly am inside. There is this unconditional force of Love out there that I feel is guiding me along through all of these experiences for a reason and so that I can be successful in what I want most out of life.
And it has shown me what I want out of life? A family…
I ran into an old friend today and I shared my story and how I found wholeness and understood why I wanted to get married. I also commented on how someone told me it seemed like I had grown 10 years since we had met a few years ago. In college, I did not always model the best behavior.
It’s folly to look back on because I have always wanted just one connection: a deep, Sacred connection. I realize now how it’s related to wanting a family because my wife and I will co-create and share in that experience. My friend told me that even though I did what I did in college, she always got that sense about me.
And you know, I believe that the heart never lies because it’s essence is loving. Some argue that the heart is always true to this whereas the ego creates these things out of fear and self-preservation.
I long fought this battle between heart and mind. So much so that over time, I built great walls to protect my heart. Yet no matter what, my heart wanted that connection. I did my best to find it, yet it took so long to find that in a being who cared at such a depth. My story will unfold as it does as I am not married nor have a family but I can say one thing about trusting the heart: it has shown me to not be afraid anymore to love fully and that I am capable of doing so.
I am no longer afraid to love but my walls hurt me and everyone else. And having lived a life where nothing is truly known, I am going to try not to worry about the unknown. I used to be afraid because I built my foundation on material sand. I am no longer afraid because I am now rooted in the quarry of Love. Love has changed me from a child to a man and has given me the tools to live a balanced life. It will take time to use the tools effectively but as long as I have a breath I have time to practice.
Maybe this doesn’t make much sense but I truly believe this: the realest, most powerful experience/feeling/infinite whatever out there is Love. And it is something worth living for because from my experience, it has guided me to great self-realizations.
There’s a certain liberation to this for me. I still don’t know what will happen in my life as a realization doesn’t always lead to life practice but I am trying.. I can’t promise millions. I do promise this though, because of love, I will honor, serve, and to do all I am asked in order to co-create a better life for my family. I do promise to support and accept them fully in any endeavor undertaken because I long fought in previous experiences and I am tired of fighting, I’d rather accept. And above all, through my own self- love I am committed to my own changing and growth through all seasons of life, so that I can live an unconditional love for family because it’s something I believe in, I don’t think I will always hit it but I will certainly try.
Seeing as how my sandy foundation brought me lots of opportunity, I have faith and hope that my quarry of Love will bring even more light.
Namaste, Aloha, Shoots.