Tag Archives: Spirituality

‘Do or Do not, there is no Try’ Meaning

Like many people I have tried and failed quite often. I have often tried and made mistakes. Whenever I have used the word ‘try’ around my Teacher, Adya, she always says:

“Get that out of your vocabulary!”

I still use ‘try’ here and there even though I don’t much say it around her. And if I do, I catch it and correct it as soon as it makes its way into sound. I don’t necessarily think trying is bad. But I understand why it is important to do, to give it one’s best fully instead of trying half-heartedly. And I think that is what Yoda meant when he uttered:

“Do or do not… There is no try.”

The memorable scene depicted the brash teenager of Luke Skywalker grappling with a hard choice as he followed his Path. He could continue his training and learn the ways of the Force or he could give up. This choice was something that was not easy as he had to face his greatest Fear, acknowledging the Truth that his father was one of the largest forces of Evil in his story told a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

From my experience in Life, when we have trouble whilst grappling with what to do next and face our fears, it can be hard to keep going, not give up. As hard as it can be, sometimes Life throws a curve or gives some inspiration when we need it most in order to take the next step in our Journey. Luke couldn’t do for himself so the Star Wars Universe put his friends in danger, giving him extra motivation to stop trying.

In that instance, he stopped trying and actually gave into the tune that Life had been playing for him all along. If you watch the series through its first trilogy conclusion, even though he leaves his training, he does go on to become a Jedi Knight and a Master. Though he didn’t listen to Yoda’s teaching the first time, his Path gave him what he needed in order to ‘Do’ what he needed to do. And it did so in a painful way. He lost his buddy for a time, lost his hand, and got the rude awakening about his Father.

But that is how Life goes. Doesn’t matter if the song is the same and someone has already sang it to us. Sometimes we just have to sing, listen, and dance for ourselves.

Wake Up(date)!!!

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Finally…

JMAW has come back… to The Simple Voice!!!

You can hold your applause! I’ve been absent from writing on here for some time. Life came and took me along the Journey a little bit further. In my studies of the Waking Dream and striving to learn more about Urban Mysticism, I have found greater reflections about Life, which can only be described as taking consciousness to the or rather allowing my consciousness to experience the 4th Dimension.

There is a plethora of things out there describing the shift of consciousness and whether it is an actual shift or just a waking up and paying attention to things that were always there is not for me to say. It merely is…

But for those looking for a little more, I don’t normally link to forums, but when I read this, it made so much sense and anyone interested in expanding their consciousness could pick up a thing or two from this article on waking up.

The results have been fascinating in my observations of this year. I was always keen on synchronicity, or a meaningful coincidence, but it’s gone to another level recently. As much as I argued and fought with one of my mentors about different things, I am so very grateful that she pushed me to study dream symbolism. The process of interpreting dreams, is more and more telling about what is going on in my experiences every day because in having a working “language” with the Dream World, I can better interpret what is going on around. Life truly speaks, all one needs to do is listen.

Mahalo nui for such a beautiful experience!

AUM Vol. 3: Lines Blurring Into One

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“Human Beings to a God, what’s a God to a King, what’s a King to God, what’s a God to a Non-Believer, who don’t believe a thing… No Church in the Wild.” ~ Frank Ocean on Watch the Throne by Jay-Z and Kanye West

I first heard Frank Ocean on an Odd Future Mixtape late last year. The emotion that gets communicated through his voice and well all of the Odd Future, Golfwang Collective of artists is pure creativity and expression.

Hip-Hop, Rap, and shoot even R&B has at times been lumped into one category or another. Whether it be Gangsta (Rap) or baby making music (R&B), whenever we lump something into one, it takes that one to go against the grain that makes us think, even if it’s just a slight bit different…

Listening to Channel Orange, Ocean’s new album, something just felt so free about it. I like movies because it allows me to think and at times take a ride But with music, it is like Truth in feeling and for me, as I have felt in Nature, and great momentary encounters along the Al-Oneness of this Journey that gives me the greatest reminders that I am not alone because I can feel the connection.

I have walked this Spiritual Path, seeing, finding, hearing Love and God in All, and in so doing, I feel free. My usual process is to read, watch videos, or look at the background of Artists, to see where they’ve been. To my surprise, I learned earlier that Frank Ocean openly expressed having had a same-sex love earlier in his Life, and I realized why the freedom was communicated right there. He wasn’t afraid to share who he was with the world because he accepted all parts of him.

In the Hip-Hop World, it’s still pretty Alpha. For Ocean to express himself without fear, was liberating not only to himself but gives a Voice to people who didn’t know if it was okay to be themselves, black, white, green, straight, gay, Asian, Martian, Comet, Cupid, Rudolph, whatever, however.

I relate to this because I am finding my own Freedom and Liberation through acceptance of this Spiritual Human+Being that I am and have always been but I did not want to share because I did not know how it would be received.

“They’ll lynch you in the South if you talk like that.” An Australian gent told me while I was on my Vision Quest. Old sentiments die hard but we have to be who we are, truly, madly, deeply, always.

I was so afraid, so fearful before of pursuing the spiritual work and letting it fill my entire Life. I had a hard time walking this Path because I wanted others to believe in it before I did, to do the work for me. Ultimately healing my wound of spiritual disconnect and also in just Loving and being Okay with Life as it is, has always been my work, and my gift that I can share with others, who may also be afraid of ‘coming out’ spiritually.

I have felt conflict, I have struggled and in finally pushing out of the cocoon spiritually, letting myself be this cat with a different view and share it in all aspects of Life (a job, a bar, with whoever) because it is who I am and that sets me free. Loving and letting that part of me Breathe, I am finally Okay with me, as I am, however am I along the Path.

Thank you Mr. Ocean for putting your Soul into your work and I commend you for your courageousness in Life. You’ve inspired me to believe even more in what I’m doing and I hope that my words can inspire others out there because this work is also like Kid Cudi said: “For the kids just like me.”

“Your Love is my Scripture.” ~ Also from No Church in the Wild

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: The Joke’s On Me

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So last night, a friend sent me some info about some Psychedelic, DMT, which is naturally secreted by the brain in dreams and at the time of Death. He saw a video, wanted to give it a try, and wanted my opinion. I hopped on the old Google and well, as some accounts may have described amazement and beauty beyond description, I couldn’t help but thin: why would anyone want to go somewhere they couldn’t remain? Not to mention the stuff about “Machine Elves” and feeling like being in an open air market with these elves bartering with you.

I have known this guy, for a while, have done spiritual work with him, and I advised against it highly because it didn’t sound healthy, particularly with some things he’s grappling with. The Spirit may be indestructible, but the Psyche is fragile and can be damaged severely depending on what we do to it.

There was a study awhile ago which showed that Schizoprenic episodes and the mystical experiences of monks had the same type of brainwaves. The only difference was the monks were prepared to expect the unexpected and so the things they say didn’t trip them out whereas the other people were not prepared. I have seen things in meditation that are beyond words and can only be described as dreamlike. In many ways, I speculate, in deep meditation, we can see and travel between dimensions, which I imagine is the point of drugs such as DMT.

As much as the body is real, I believe the Truth lies in the Spirit and the only way to experience that is through the body.

And, if you really pay attention to life, you don’t need see the “Machine Elves” to experience them. In Hawaiian culture, they talk about the Menehune, and little creatures popping up throughout many different traditions. There are very real spiritual elements, dimensions, whatever you want to call it out there and we can “walk in other worlds” constantly. In fact, we do so unconsciously many times a day. I think the key is to be aware when you slip into one.

So last night, after reading these articles, my own awareness took me into comedy. I was getting clowned all night long by these punk band kids (I will refrain from calling them Band Geeks). One came in and had a smirk on his face and I don’t know why but I read him when the very human part of me wanted to slap that look off his face. At first it seemed like it was a waste of time and the highlight for both of us was when he said, “I’m not trying to be an asshole.” and I said, “But you are an asshole, we all can be.” and he finally left. It was a silly game that I can’t say I enjoyed until, it dawned on me how funny it was that these kids who probably got teased because of high school stereotypes were acting out in this different setting. It made me think first of this:

I immediately thought back to the insecurity and the insanity of high school. I’d see the young man go high-five a friend and think to myself where’s the jocks when you need them? Then former UFC Heavyweight Champ, Cain Valesquez, walks by with his wife. Priceless.

And the joke totally hit me. I couldn’t stop laughing. because it was like I was propelled into something I had found amusing before and that whole concept of how the “Machine Elves” give experiences that are beyond words and my correlation that it already unfolds played it out right before me.

I would shortly thereafter see a Captain America Shield T-Shirt on a kid and I thought of the two images, which is why they are included.

We write our lives. I don’t know yet how deep that goes or why but I do believe it is possible to have fun, enjoyable experiences time and time again in life if we learn to allow them, because God and Love can be found through it all.

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: God’s Always Listening…

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God’s always listening… but are we?

A few weeks back I wrote a query wondering what the heck I was doing. Very natural, self-doubt comes in at times and it’s important to work through rather than avoid. And I was deep in the: What was the point of this? This life? This Journey? I have been committed fully to walking in faith for over a year and have been focused on this spiritual seeking since being told I had a higher calling over 8 years ago, and apparently I have always been spiritually, but really, what’s the point? September hasn’t been too kind or rather it was a month of tough love. It’s funny how things play out in your life, eh?

Faith is a challenge. I am challenged daily and I get stronger, my endurance grows and grows, I find joy in the smallest of things, get tickled at what many may view as trivial. I feel very child-like today as opposed to yesterday, many yesterdays, and with each new today, I grow more into this state of being where I am, dare I say, present…

When I wrote the blog in question, I thought of all the people who’d come in to my space as a Psychic or as I look at it, spiritual guidance, and many of the first including a woman named Malia, came into my mind because it’s those people, it’s that one small percentage that being there made some sort of difference. Maybe it’s that Five People You Meet In Heaven thing, I don’t know. Well, Malia called me out of the blue the other day…

Things never happen in the time we want, but with enough faith, enough endurance, they will happen, guarantee. My friend Steven, he’s an MMA guy, and his girlfriend have an interesting story. She’d just about given up on love but had a dream a few years back that someone talked to her about that issue and told her to love herself, then gave her a hug. That someone was a bit more heavyset than when she met him a few months ago, for the first time. That someone was me. Steven took me out to meet her sister, who he liked (I know crazy) and my intuition felt and told him that we were more there for Jayel. I don’t know how or why or what or again how but she had a dream, and I was in it, and we had that same conversation, albeit a few years later. I led her on a guided meditation at the beach one day after being guided to where she was parked. Serendipitous indeed.

I’ve thought I’ve known many times how my journey would play out. I surely do not and these surprises are starting to become enjoyable. I like knowing, I used to want to have control, but I realize the not yet is not quite written and is dependent upon what we are yet to do. The choices we make, the gifts we are given.

I called Malia back and played phone tag. Adya and I were chilling and she told me you never know who might find my card somehow and how that could help you out. In Malia’s message she mentioned finding my card and a book that I gave her. Funny…

My life is unfolding, it’s nerve wracking, it’s stretching, it’s a Journey filled with Alone-ness though I know I am not lonely, just each path, each one of our walks is our own and we have to do it in our own way before we can relate to others in consciousness and see God in All.

Malia called me back this morning. Her message, she had a vision of my face and heard my name so she called after finding my card and still having that book. I told her to pass the book on someday and when I get published I’ll send her a copy of the book I wrote. It’s funny when you write things back to yourself later how more of the dots connect. I’m seeing dots connect on my own Inner Work right now…

We talked for awhile and there were many pearls in there. More importantly, it was about the connection and a few weeks back I wondered if I would ever see or hear from her again after she’d moved away and boom, look at that. I did.

So like I began this: God’s always listening… but are we? Are we really listening when it says to judge not foreigners in the Old Testament or to love the Good Samaritan in the new? Are we really looking and seeing that Love is transcendent regardless of Race, Religion, ‘Reality…’

Are we listening as the Earth shakes, as the markets crash? Are we really listening to the rhythm of life all around? Maybe. Probably not. But that’s okay, as long as we are alive we have the opportunity to do so, and it’s those moments when I remember the deeper connection that I truly feel alive.

THX much!

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: Scars

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“Wanna know how I got these scars?” The Joker (Heath Ledger’s version)

Through the looking glass into the Dark Night of the Soul...

One of my favorite songs growing up, one of the 10 that I liked that was not hip-hop (joke it was more like 20, nah, nah, nah!) was Scars by Papa Roach. I really liked the acoustic version because there was something in the emotionality (OMG that is actually a real word b/c spell-check didn’t catch it. It’s not just a Tropic Thunder thing? I thought I was being funny) of it that struck me.

I’ve long been fascinated by music and how it can make me feel like someone else can relate. Another favorite of mine is Pain by 2Pac. In experience, I think I relate a little better to Scars, but in feeling, I relate deeply to both. One can hear it in the voices. It’s a sound that evokes a feeling that stirs the Heart. Only way I can explain it. No further explanation need be given.

I love my scars. As I look at my healing tattoos, telling the story of spiritual rebirth, it’s a reminder to love scars because it shows how I’ve healed some of the deep wounds that existed before birth by returning through the Looking Glass and “marrying” my Soul. If I had to break down what occurred in my life, I would say it’s ashes work, it was tending to my inner garden, it was allowing for Death within. Spiritual calling or not, I hadn’t done that work and it culminated in the explosion of my life last July. I hadn’t put to rest many a thing that no longer served me nor did I venture out and allow my Soul the opportunity to breathe fully and be okay with that. Only in crossing the threshold was I ever able to grow, to release.

I write about similar themes, spirituality being a huge component. And I might repeat myself at times. I do so because I believe we’re here doing the same thing, maybe not in the same way, but for the same purpose: to live fully, to know who we really are, to serve others, and hopefully, create a foundation so that our children, our brothers and sisters yet to arrive have something better than we did, holistically. I also do so because I feel like my role of expression of life is kind of like a true fan, even when the team seems down and won’t come back, still there, still cheering. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the world as we approach 2012. Everyone has their “theories” and I, my own hypotheses. But regardless, I’m going to cheer balance, going to cheer the Love within humanity. It’s who I am and I’m cool with that. I used to think it was because the world needed a voice or a new message. The world has everything it needs already in each moment. I needed to be my Voice. I needed to find it. Which is really funny when you consider that this website is called The Simple Voice. I needed that Simple Voice. LMAO.

Each step in the Journey takes me closer to the end celebration that is Death. Though I don’t feel it is, today could be my last. Who really knows? So with that, I am so very grateful for my scars, for the pain of life, and all that’s it’s taught me because it takes me deeper and deeper into the arms of God, to choose, to feel Love as It is truly present in each and every moment. It’s taught me to listen to and be one with that Simple Voice of my Heart.

So yeah: you wanna know how I got these scars?

Aloha nui loa,

JMAW

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: Purpose

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Last night, my life felt like it had purpose. I guess I always thought about it but as life has shown me it’s one thing to intellectually get something. It’s another thing to feel it. And yesterday I felt it.

I awoke with a sense that I felt whole. As though I had arrived. It’s been a crazy year. If you look back at all the writing that has poured out on this blog, when I read through the journals and everything else, alot went down. I consider it my year of research, the time to put together my “dissertation” on life up until this point. Like what lessons did I learn in the first 30 years that I wish could have been explained simply so as to have helped me navigate life better early on. I believe that. I believe it’s possible to travel through life in a smooth fashion. Life will have it’s pain. I’m not saying that at all. It also has much darkness. And that is nothing to fear. But I believe it possible to walk smoothly through it all, to be in the middle, to be okay through whatever the tide may bring.

So there I sat, enjoying the ride, still not knowing what’s next or how, still having thoughts come in that once scared me but I now accept and can nurture. Because that’s the thing, so many times in life, I thought, when I do this, then I’ll be okay, be free of the uncertainty of the unknown. I’m free here, I’m free now when I allow myself to be because that exists side-by-side with the shackles of limitation.

The reason it popped off, the purpose part came through for me, is because my night of Psychic adventure ended with two young ladies, who when adding their age (16 & 15) together totaled my age.

For some reason, I was taking my time in leaving. Granted my calf tear limits my mobility but last night was dreadfully slow. I had two readings all night after getting there early only to not start until an hour later because not so long, not so great story so I’ll leave it out. I was in the chair, I had put on my cap, closed my eyes, took a breath and heard a voice asking if she could still get a reading. They walked around to the other entrance and looked young so I asked the questioner her age: 16. I donate alot of readings to under 18 and all little kids for free so I told them that. I finished up, closed shop and we all sat down.

The two young ladies were from Texas, one of them by way of New Orleans, a place very near to my heart. It was really cool reading them both and I was impressed at how they got it. I’ve had to grapple with my ego throughout my life and in turn when I’m there to serve others as a Reader, can I identify when it’s a battle with someone else’s ego, and most older people it’s like that, but not the next generation… There they were, two young women who got it, got that life could be more. I can’t explain it, it’s something I felt and I could see in their eyes, the light sparking like the stars. I have great hope for the future and its these young ladies, it is their peers, their generation that will build beautiful structures, upon which other generations can build and go further and higher, all by simply living fully.

I don’t know what’s going to unfold in life. When do we ever really? We construct these sand castles that the Nature of life’s tide can erode in an instant… I have some feelings that I surmise will come true when they do. I know one thing is for certain, so long as I keep dancing to the beat beat of my Heart, that perfect drumming, I’ll be okay no matter what goes down.

Mahalo ke Akua. Much Praise, Much Love, Much Gratitude!

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: …

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I feel as though something inside me is dying. I haven’t been able to place it but I find deep sparks of emotion bubbling. Oh the joy, the ride that is the spiritual journey…

I was given a calling at the age of 23. Here I am, 8 years later, age 31, and I have an idea what that means. I see that I have been given a spiritual experience to share and that I have been able to share and guide others of all ages. The humanity of me, the part of me that shudders at the awe of the unknown, no longer is in the driver’s seat.

“You so far out there.” The words of my teacher resonate. She was emphasizing that I look at things from so many different angles, going within so deeply that though it isn’t anything new, it’s presentation is in a way that is new for someone my age.

I’m scared. I’m not scared of living. Of being fully because my best friend is a 72 year old woman. I’m scared because this is it, be who I am and accept that there is a stark degree feeling alone in that. This is the threshold that I was told about at the beginning of last year, prior to the implosion of my life as I was forced into submission, to go within to listen closer.

I’m tired. I’ve worked hard at this. A mentor once said, to those around you, they may not understand, but only you can fully see the transformation and realize it was work.

I see how I created the experience of my life. I can read the writing on the wall backwards and am quick to catch the negative patterns as they start to unfold so that those pattern don’t recreate the wheel of suffering I was once addicted to as I head forward.

I now realize something that I never wanted to admit. Life truly is subjective because regardless of finding a connection via feelings, there is absolutely no other physically living person who can relate. It’s just not possible. The only possible way to relate is via consciousness and unless we transcend our outdated ways to thinking and being, we are destined to fail as a civilization in the eternal quest. That’s the why the search for God, for Love, whatever term you wish to use to describe the Divine as it is imprinted within and all around is so important.

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: Honesty Isn’t Always Flowery…

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“I no longer step lightly on eggshells. I stomp on them.”

I was called in early last night and I immediately wondered who was I going to meet. Don’t know why, but that just popped in. Well, I was told this a few times last year by a mentor: expect the unexpected. A woman walks in all smiles, flirty, talks me down in price, it’s my first reading of the day, so I figure sure, let’s get rolling (count it as Ice Cold Higashi would say). As soon as she enters the Tree, the energy changes. If it was a Disney movie, the wind would have picked up and blown out all but one of the candles in the room. It was a feeling, that is for sure. The smile, the mask dissolved as a heavy furrow of the brow and her energy took over and felt like it was pushing me away. I did the normal start/intro but I rolled the chair back because I could feel the heaviness everywhere.

I should have thought deeper on her first words: I just don’t want to hear anything bad. When people tell me that I reply I don’t believe that there is bad on the spiritual level. I can see how things could be perceived as bad looking at it solely from the human perspective but adopting a more holistic/inclusive paradigm has helped me to take in the Journey and not be so quick to judge what is happening because the Journey unfolds as it does. So I shared that (in one ear and out the other).

I did her reading and she peaked on anything that could be perceived as “negative” and spun tales, so much as focusing in on cards and stating that it looked bad. I had to say, if you look for bad you will find it. I learned that the hard way. Where we pay our attention, we create, we find (I tell my cousin I’m buying us Audi R8′s when I hit bestseller status and each day I see more and more Audis, including an R8 the other night, getting closer, Yes!!!). It was the first time that I ever had anyone storm out. As I sat and watched, I had already concluded I was going to ask her to leave and not charge her because her ego was taking control and having a fit and there was no point in continuing. The moment I finished that thought is when she began her rant and left in tears.

I took a breath and laughed because I had to. I had a choice to do so. I could have made myself a victim by the experience, I did get hosed on time and money basically but the woman was obviously hurting. It was obvious she was disconnected from her own sense of well-being so I was not going to add to it by chasing her down. And I didn’t feel like a victim. If anything, I felt like maybe that dynamic would allow her to reflect and find a lesson in it as the lessons were there, even for me. A big lesson felt like it’s okay to call it how you see it so long as it vibes with what is coming from the Heart, regardless of it steps on someone’s toes.

I also laughed because that had to be the reason I was called in early. That is the meaning I’m assigning at least. Had she visited any other Reader the message wouldn’t have been there in that fashion. I really don’t pull punch these days. Compassion, honesty doesn’t necessary mean sugar coat, it means being real. I had a very unrealistic view on Love in the past, very conditional and based on the responses of others. I lived more from fear and as a result didn’t always let my fire speak or was hesitant to speak from the Heart. I’ve gotten burned every which way I’ve approached life, acting from Love or fear. I’d rather act and speak from Love as a choice, because it honors what is going on inside. Because either way, I don’t know what anyone else is going to do and at least I’m being true to me, which I think is healthy, and if I had to say if anything is good, it is healthy.

The woman would come by later and put 5 dollars through the window with a smile while I was doing a reading. I said No but she insisted. I don’t know why the karmic tie we had played out as it did but that is what it is. Was it bad? Was I hurt? No and no. Was it enjoyable? No, not at all. Did I learn? Yes.

And it’s the learning that takes me back, gets me up each day, feet hit the floor, signing on with Team Bring It (to quote the Rock), saying and receiving a Good Morning from the Good Lord (also to quote the Rock) and hearing the Devil say oh sh!t, it’s these guys (also to quote, eh, you get the point).

The Devil, Hell, in my opinion, is the torment from living in the fear that the ego uses to control us. That woman’s ego was tormenting her. She couldn’t see her own beauty, her own power. And that is was is okay all the time regardless of external validation. It’s okay because the Soul is there, ready, to take us to a better place, to show us our tranquility within.

That’s important because we never truly know what to expect from others, from Nature, from a world that is impacted by such a collective consciousness, an energy in constant flux. It is special because despite the storm of energy, the storminess of others, our Soul is connected to the calm, the I, the Eternal You, the Eternal Me.

That is priceless. No experience can take the value of that place within away, ever. I send you the best my sister and I thank you for your time stopping in.

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: It Was All a Dream…

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“It was all a dream…” ~ Notorious B.I.G.

As I look back at the year where the Dark Night of the Soul took hold, where the master thief of the Higher Self crept out, made its presence known, grappling the ego into submission to the Spirit, the only way I can make sense is by remembering the dream that prompted the eruption.

I am walking through a city that looks like NYC, the tall buildings, I walk through the park. I walk through a place that has a casino. I now am walking up a hill, the homes, the structures remind me of what I saw in Huntington Beach a few months earlier.

My journey(s) took me to Seattle, New York, New Orleans, San Francisco, and home, Hawaii. It also included other stops but as I identified the stops, how they flowed together, what they each represented to me, whether the Hand of the Spirit wrote it, whether my Soul played a role, is inconsequential as conscious life is being able to make sense of the stories we tell and weed out the lies the ego tells to keep one trapped in illusion.

The best I can do, again, is to interpret my waking experience as it unfolded as I would a dream and identify what each place symbolized to me.

Seattle represented Wholeness. It was the first time in a very long time that I had a feeling my Soul was breathing, that everything was okay. I would end up on the hill in the dream while in Seattle. I had the location wrong but I’d seen the location beforehand. Seattle was to be my last stop, so Wholeness would normally be the end of the journey but I needed the teaser beforehand because I was still so mired in Fear.

New York and New Jersey showed me why it is so special to share experiences not only with the Spirit but with others, all others, and even more so is it necessary to cherish the company of loved ones for you never know when someone comes in and out of life, whether it be due to circumstance or Death. Sometimes both, as Death does not only claim us at the end of the Flesh, but as events of life develop, very much a part of the ebb and flow of the Seasons of Life.

New Orleans was rebirth and here I would encounter the casino as I had seen it in my dream. I spent many a day by the Mississippi, reflecting as she meandered, her ability to change location from one state to another as she felt, inspirational, and also the area I really had to learn rebirth for my addiction to the ego’s agenda was quite strong. Rebirth an important theme, a reminder that each moment, each experience is brand new so respect it as that (I still struggle with this). It is also through rebirth that I was able to let the Sculptor that is the Soul clear away that which blocked the creation from within being expressed. Rebirth was/is necessary, because only in being reborn and allowing full expression of the change demanding recognition, stemming from within was I able to salvage the damage my psyche had experienced due to my own choice in limiting views and beliefs. The ego builds up a life of expectation to control, being strengthened each step of the way as the power the ego is empowered whether we live from Love or Fear because it’s goal is to craft its own agenda, and if our attention is focused on that controlling agenda we are blinded.

San Francisco was healing. I planted this seed. Whether it’s the “I” as in the I Am part of me or the I as in my conscious mind does not matter because I established it. And what did I learn? I had dreams and saw signs (both my ways of navigating the journey) everywhere which I can see now that I was always ready and that healing is a lifelong journey. Eventually the Soul leaves because it has worked on all it can in a lifetime, some Souls it’s sooner, others it’s later, either way, healing flows throughout.

Home… Hawaii. When I was 23, as can be seen by previous blogs, the excerpts from my book on here, I was called on a spiritual journey. I was told the Spirit of the Hawaiian Islands had a higher calling for me. A year ago, I told the Universe I would give up that which I loved most, which at the time was my idea of what would make me whole and the love of my life, in order to share what’s in my Heart with the world. I often minced words, thinking that it was about living my dream. No, it’s about realizing that this life is a like a dream and we have the ability in our waking state to have a lucid experience to enjoy it more fully. It just takes slowing down and paying attention. Not an overnight process as my journey since being called took eight years give or take some change and life is presented me with more experiences, more lessons. But I feel like I can make my way through anything because of this place…

Home. Home is everywhere because it is within. The Spirit of the Hawaiian Islands is symbolically Aloha, something just like Love, like God, is not quite describable but as an experience can be felt. Regardless of where I am physically in life, regardless of circumstance, I have learned how to get to my true home of the Spirit and to embrace this life, its twists, its turns, because the dream will surely end, much like dreams we have when we sleep, the dream will surely end when it does, suddenly, and that’s it.

Thank you Life. I needed that.