I remember coming across a book about Steve Jobs in January of 2007, shortly before the birth of this blog.  It was a few months after I’d set out to live my dream (“Whatever that is” I told myself).  I didn’t read the whole thing but as I would go through it, I was amazed. I’d been raised in a world where I believed success meant having a piece of paper which had your name and different letters describing various degrees of knowledge that one has or is supposed to have upon receipt of said piece of paper.  And there was someone, someone who scoffed at that idea, a visionary, an iconoclast.  His idea, the idea of Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, a company which had more cash on hand than the United States earlier this year, his idea was simple: do what you love.

My love affair with Apple, the Cult of Mac, whatever you want to call it had begun a year before in 2006, upon getting my the first gen MacBook Pro (my trusty steed even years later).  I’d written my first screenplay, a teleplay really and an episode sketch for a television series based on my experiences working in Residence Life at the University of Hawaii and Hawaii Pacific University.  I didn’t know what I wanted to do but I loved creative writing.  I loved poetry.  But that didn’t make money.  I immediately manifested an opportunity to work for Cal State LA, where I would have gotten paid, a living arrangement, and been able to get that piece of paper for $12.  Seemed good b/c that first piece of paper I had wasn’t enough, so the world seemed to say, but more importantly, so I believed that it wasn’t and I wasn’t good enough.  I got scared.  I made many excuses at the time, but really, it was fear that kept me from pursuing my dream.  I often looked at that moment in my Journey, where I had already heard the Call to Action, yet failed to budge.  It was monumental and I do not regret because though fear played its role, there was also something else underlying that I’d not yet figured out…

So as I read about Mr. Jobs, how he tried psychedelics, how he squatted in dorm rooms, scraped just to eat, I was amazed.  I didn’t have the fortitude to do at that time.  I didn’t think I did at least, but as Steve put it, in his famed Standford graduation address a few years back, sometimes you can only put the dots together when you look back…

I was working in politics in 2007, fun but not for me, I knew right away (ignored that too) and would find a magazine with a local filmmaker on it one day.  I thought to myself, this is it, if I’m going to do this, I have to work for someone from Hawaii who did it.  And well, I manifested that too.  I responded to an anonymous craigslist ad, got a call from said filmmaker on said magazine, and hounded her for a job though it didn’t feel right.  It was one of the first times I really saw how focusing my energy can create anything but also a time where not following my intuition got in my way.

I would last three months after a number challenges there.  I won’t go into it but it wasn’t the most kosher place to be though it taught me.  I believe life will give you the lesson either way: via flight/dance or crawling along.  As Robert Bly put it, it led me into the kitchen.  Bly wrote a book, Iron John, which explores the fable of the same name and discusses at one point how, even though at times we may feel so close to having it realized, we still have to do the kitchen work.  My kitchen work was literal and figurative as I ended up at Hank’s Haute Dogs working with Henry Adaniya, Restauranteur of Chicago’s Trio fame.  Henry had followed his dream to Hawaii to open up a gourmet hot dog shop.  I didn’t realize it at the time but the Universe was giving me many clues, so much so that I got to see first hand in Henry someone who was following his dreams, listening to his Heart.  So many dots as if they were all signs simple saying: Jay, it’ll be okay…

I would be at Hank’s for a bit but the idea of money got to me.  Worried me.  I was still lost because I was so focused on listening to the stimuli from outside, barely hearing what was so quietly while at the same time clearly echoed within.  I was a product of my culture, a culture where we see the Heart sacrificed for the all mighty dollar each day.  I was barely getting by, I was dying inside, not because of my job, but because I was afraid.  I was afraid of doing what I wanted to do most, to live fully, because I didn’t know how.  All I knew well was my addiction.  My addiction to suffering, to self-sabotage.  So I would leave the kitchen full-time and go to part-time and dive back into the shark infested waters of politics…

In 2008, I went back into a place I said I would never go for the 2nd time (of 4 times) and I’d hear another message from my intuition, this time to run for office.  I didn’t because the Representative I worked for told me I had to look like the people in my district (Japanese, I’m half-Asian but it’s hard to tell) and well I disregarded that voice once more.  I don’t know what would have happened really had I ran, if I would have won the whole thing.  It was mission impossible because I was going to go up against the Majority Leader.  But a funny thing happened… I would have been the only Democrat in the race had I run because he  withdrew to run for County Council and was unable to go back into the race.  My intuition was spot on again, and well, I didn’t pull the trigger.  Fear wasn’t a factor so much as faith was but again with the dots, there was more…

In 2009, back in politics again, I had a vision of a woman, a woman who I would meet and along with other synchronicity popping all over, I was convinced I’d found the woman I would marry.  She was convinced I was her future ex-husband.  I listened to my Heart.  It was healing and painful all rolled into one.  Fast forward a year and a half, a pseudo divorce later and it’s Sept. 01. 2010 and I’m finally going all in on the Spirit Journey, not because I wanted to.  Believe you me, my conscious mind did not want to but I know I had to.  I submitted and want, wish, whatever, I had to do it, see where the road would take me.  I’d seen the roller coaster go round and round, upside down, inside out, too many times.  I’d misinterpreted and twisted the intuition too often.  So off I went, immersing myself into the Dark Night of the Soul.  I prayed for dreams, followed signs, and two times, a whole boatload of Universal magical and across the US later…

I’m Steve Jobs.  Ha, Lol.  Laugh.  I’m not but I am.  And so are you when you listen to your Heart.  You’re also Justin Beiber, Mr. Don’t Stop Believing.  You’re Shawn Michaels, the kid from Texas who wanted to be a Pro Wrestler.  You’re Oprah Winfrey and the list goes on and on and on… You’re (insert your name) and relate to anyone else who has followed their Heart, because of celebrity or not, all that matters in this life, is that as Russel Simmons put it you: Do You.

I’m actually, JMAW, and my point is this: I went and did something that only I could do because that’s what it is to walk your path, to listen to your Heart, to not stop though you don’t know where the next step will lead.  We each have the ability, the opportunity, the chance to go out on our Journey and reach that Light at the end of the tunnel and learn to allow and embrace the Dark, that is just as an important part of us.

Though Mr. Jobs has stepped down from his role with Apple, I believe his Journey is still going, whether on this plane or the next.  Thank you Mr. Jobs.  Thank you for quality products that were the result of following your Heart, dancing to the Beat-Beat of that drum.

I don’t know what’s next.  I’ve said that alot in the last year but as I approach Sept. 01, 2011, I’m so grateful I started listening closer to my Heart, started following that Simple Voice.  Because it’s made all the difference…