Tag Archives: Okay-ness

Last Letters: The Out-takes

Following up the serious tone of this essay on Death and this Last Letter to my Children, I had to inject humor into the book(It’ll Be Okay… Healing Amidst Living, Loving, and Dying, yada, etc. blah blah blah). I’d like to think there was humor all throughout most of it but eh, I can think all I want you know?

If you read here, then you’ll see that I was creating something along the way/there being a point to it all. And little did I know the CDC would issue a Zombie Apocalypse Protocol and the Preachers would preach about the End of Times so I suppose it was fitting I wrote these Last Letters. See, really am Psychic! (But so are you!)

Check back for more Letters and some Op-Eds that I wrote to the NY Times, San Francisco Chronicle, and Chicago Sun Tribune. I’ll have some Op-Ed out-takes as well I’m sure.

Anyhow, here’s some of my Last Letters that didn’t make the cut, hence The Out-takes:

Letters To Some Famous People:

President Barack Obama:

To my fellow Keiki o ka Aina, I lived in the same building as you. It tripped me out. It inspired me in many ways. I say keep going and doing what you gotta do. I don’t think McCain would have done a much better job. I believe all of you in that post are doing the best you can. Even Bush. We’re lucky we are free to play armchair President. Even those of us people who aren’t American. What a life, eh? I wrote this book for many reasons but in part because I agree with you: “I believe that we can be better.”

Lil Wayne:

You’re brilliant. I hope this book drives up sales although you’re pretty huge so my free advertisements might not be helping much. But I can hope to help. I admire your creativity and flow. Keep it going Weezy Wee! If I’m still alive and you read this, please let me write a rhyme for you. Shoots!

Grace Park:

I have had a crush on you ever since you were Boomer in Battlestar Galactica. I told myself I would talk to you and not treat you like a celebrity if I ever ran into you at Whole Foods in Kahala. I had this whole idea how I would break the ice by discussing how great a job you did playing Boomer. It was a challenging role they gave you, not to mention some of the things your character had to go through. I thought you did a great job. So anyway, the day came, I saw you, and I chickened out. Oh well…

Kate Plus Eight:

Your husband wasn’t too cool in the end but you stomped on the poor guy. That video of you yelling at your kids to drink the water was kind of rough too. I feel a lot of compassion for you. Life is just crazy and I can’t imagine what your soul wanted in this incarnation. It’d be interesting to read your cards. I wish the best to your kids and hope that they get all the support they need as being in the spotlight from that early on has been rough on other kids.

BJ Penn:

Run for Governor of Hawaii. I guaranteed you’d win and the politicians would respect you because in real life you would beat their asses. They have to enact a law where the Governor could apply a Rear Naked Choke (RNC) to a bad bill or something. IDK. It’d be entertaining. Or you could RNC some of the Hawaii Reps or Sens. There’s a bunch that deserve it I imagine. Just ask their constituents.

Tito Ortiz:

You talk a lot of shit but you’re about your business and I was always pulling for you to make a comeback. Call me old school, I first started Muay Thai around the time you fought Shamrock and that sold me on MMA as the most awesome sport ever. Good luck guy!

Will Smith:

You were like my TV big brother. I felt like I learned a lot of life lessons from you and it was cool to see you move into movies. Thanks for being that big brother that I could pop into the DVD player when I got older and needed some advice.

Charlie Sheen:

See someone to help with your awakening. I argued that you were waking up and it scared away an opportunity for me to get interviewed for some of my work that I did in the area of mystical experiences (you owe me). I clearly feel like you’re having some very clear mystical experiences but don’t know how to deal with it. But eh, don’t listen if you don’t want to. You seem to have it under control. And you have a machete so you’re good to go.

Zach Galifanakis:

You crack me up. Your video to that one song where you are on the tractor which was a Kanye track (I think) was pretty awesome. I hope you keep doing your two ferns thing for years to come because laughter is such a great part of life. Note: my friend Bryce wants to be in movies. He could play your brother in something. Plus according to him, his beard is more awesome.

President George W. Bush:

You’re like the Uncle I’d want to drink a beer with. And I don’t really drink much, if at all these days. And if I do it’s wine. I like beer, just doesn’t agree with me. I get what we call in Hawaii the Asian glow and turn all red. Anyway, thanks for your sense of humor man. You seemed to take stuff really in stride. Hope retirement is better than the Presidency was. I tried to write a piece for some website about how you had some similarities to Leonidas around the time The 300 came out. It didn’t do too well. I think that’s the reason people didn’t vote for it which is funny because as much shit as people talk you got re-elected. Anyway, good luck to you, Sir, I think you did the best you could.

Oprah:

Doesn’t look like I made it on your show. It’s your last year anyway. Oh well. Keep on doing what you’re doing. I will be honest, I used to think a lot of people were brainwashed by you but I put down the Haterade because you do some great things for the world so if it means drinking the O Network Kool Aid in order to do great things in the world, sign me up. Congrats to you and all you accomplished. I hope more women can be as empowered and amazing as you are!

The Jersey Shore:

I have only seen a handful of episodes of your show because if you read this, you know I haven’t had much cable. What to say to you all? Well, I imagine you, like the rest of us are trying to make the most out of your lives and trying to put the pieces together. I hope some day you don’t feel like you have to sell yourselves or act out unless that’s really in your hearts. I kind of doubt it but the douchebaggery is possible for any and all of us so cool. Take care of your ladies and no more getting beat downs.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama:

You’re pretty awesome. I heard the coolest story of how some guy named Israel met you at the White House and he wasn’t the official greeter because Condoleeza was. He was slightly scared he’d get in trouble but you were so nice he didn’t want to peace out right away. It cracked me up because he said you introduced yourself and he followed it up with Israel because that was his name. It just painted a funny picture in my mind, the Dalai Lama and Israel. Anyway, thanks for being such a down being and so open. You rock!

Jack Black:

One of my best friends reminds me of you. His name is Tai and he plays music. I wrote the perfect movie for you. It wouldn’t have won you an Oscar or anything but it would have been cool and probably would have made us some scrilla. Tai and I tried your all food groups McDonald’s sandwich back in the day. Wasn’t too great… Whatever though, keep (bleeping) it gently!

Pau, Complete, Bam

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I did it. Now an author. I’m learning the writing was the easy part. Now it’s dealing with the minutiae of branding and in this day and age converting my document to a nice e-version. Oh, well, it adds some flavor to the stew.

At the very least, bam, it’s complete off to my grammar killer to “rip” my “sh!t apart” as he put it. I’m pleased so that’s all that matters at this point.

E-versions will be available followed by the hard and soft editions. Thx for the support Friends! You can check out a piece from the first draft here (typos and all for the realness of what it’s like to be a writer).

You can also find me pulling some writing duty over at 434 Tattoo‘s Blog and at Hub Pages. Check out my article about Adam tattooing “Iron” Mike Tyson.

It’ll Be Okay…

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This is from the draft (I know there are typos but that’s part of the realness/adopting a mix-tape release yo!) of the opening parts to my book, check back for updates, e-book available soon, hard copies to follow, thx for the love and support homies!

It’ll Be Okay…

Healing Amidst Living, Loving, and Dying in this Day and Age:

A Short Book on Life because that’s Short too

A Few Words Before Some More Words

This is a reflection filled with stories told in a conversational style, some essays, poems, and whatnot. I guess it’s an experimental memoir. I don’t know (shrugs shoulders). I majored in Religion because I realized much later I was spiritual (a loaded word and I would love to discard in favor of Human+Being because that’s what we are IMO). I did not major in English so I forewarn that I will probably break some writing rules. I don’t care. Rules aren’t necessarily made to be broken. I’m not saying that at all but that doesn’t mean rules have to limit us. A huge part of expression is that there is nothing wrong with expressing it how you want. We categorize, we lump, we judge, yet so long as there are people, there will be unique expression. Each of us has the potential to serve as a unique channel.

This book has excerpts from essays I have written and recounts events from my entire life, yup, all 30 years of it, as I approach the age of 31. I share because I care, I’ve always wanted to write a book, and well life is short so isn’t it enough to write a book because I have wanted to? I say that just as much to you as I say it to myself…

This book is about my healing. My name means “healer” and I’ve been told I’ll be a healer or teacher or whatever. I don’t know if I agree with that. We’re all healers. We’re all teachers and students. This book is in some ways a guide and while I don’t think of myself as a healer or a teacher, I do know that I have the intuitive ability to guide others. This in many ways is like a guide to “Okay-Ness” but we’ll get into that as we go.

I have found that I never felt as alone in life when I felt like someone could relate to what I was feeling. I’ve felt a lot in my life, I bet you have as well. In fact, we feel all the time, it’s just that we’re so stuck on auto-pilot that we do not really allow the feeling to run its course. So as much as this is about me and sharing what I’ve learned, it’s also about relating to You. Because regardless of viewpoint, it is my own view, (wink) that we can all relate when it comes down to feelings. I spoke with a more scientific thinker one day after hopping out of the water and he was not too keen on my use of the word energy so I’m speaking on something that I feel like I know and the only thing I know through close examination of my process, psyche, and feelings is my feelings. So this book that I’m writing because I want to is a book written with and about FEELING.

So What Does Some 30 Year Old Have to Say About Feeling With Feeling?

Many people think I look much younger than I actually am. Others don’t. Idk, I credit the Asian genes for the youthful appearance. I also do a fair job these days of coordinating my energy so that could be part of it. Whatever it is, lucky for sure. At 30, I’ve lived enough life and its experiences to relate to older people and am still young enough to relate to the youth. It’s a good age to be and as good a time to write this book as any. And why not? My time here isn’t that long anyway. Neither is yours, so after reading this book, and possibly buying copies for 11 people (THX Friends!) get out there and watch your book, write your movie, it’s your life! Chee huu to you!

And feel good about it. Even if you’re sad. Feel good that you can feel that feeling. It’s beautiful that we can feel. I believe that the only way we can even relate to anyone else is due to feeling. I work as an Intuitive/Psychic and the only reason I can do that is because I am clear on what I’m feeling. I understand it. As a result, I can really tune in and relate to what the other person is feeling. From there, I help accordingly. I like to compare what I do to that of a chiropractor, give spiritual alignments, or a dentist, help with spiritual cleaning.

A lot of people ask me if I’m psychic. Yes. But so are you/so can you. We’re all Humans having an experience of Being and Beings experiencing Humanity. It’s truly beautiful if you think about it….

Opinions

Coach Gary once told us all in High School, opinions are like Assholes, Everyone has one and most of them stink. Wait, maybe that was Coach Lee. I don’t remember, they all swore a bit but I liked Coach Gary, Coach Lee, well, he was cool off the court but on the court he was an Opinion…

My ex girlfriend used to get so pissed at me because she felt like I spoke like it was the Truth when discussing certain things. She preferred me to say “I think” but you know, maybe I am speaking from the Truth. Maybe I’m not.

What is the Truth to begin with?

All I know is these words are coming from my Heart and listening there, speaking from there, that’s honest, and I feel good about honesty. I like honesty. I respect honesty. So this book is about me being honest with myself about what I think, what I feel about life here on this plane of existence, doing my best to make sense of some of the things that I have gone through.

If you read it, cool. If not, cool. I gotta do what I gotta do and so should you because again, life is short.

Awakening/Mindfulness/What?

This is a reflection on some pretty huge elements of life which I’m going to guesstimate that all who have ever walked this plane of existence have looked at. I have had an adventure of life and it accelerated when I decided to go all in, go down the rabbit hole, dig into my unconscious, engage the mystical, let’s call it “live fully” for simpler purposes and basically really try to figure out what my life is about. I have had a few people talk to me about enlightenment and awakening as I have also studied, searched for an answer, been dubbed a Seeker of the Eternal. I don’t claim to be enlightened or awakened. I’m alive. That’s the only thing I claim. And I know one day I’ll die. Shoot, I hope so. The idea of living forever is intense. Whatever is in my cards, as far as I am concerned, call me what you want, Love is going to carry me through living and dying.

Since I’m writing on the topic, I have to say that my experiences of feeling awake, my interpretation of it, is to be Child-like, to look in awe, to be curious, full of energy for life. It’s not escaping, it’s not avoiding life, it’s about accepting life. Just look at those little wizards as they run around noticing things for the first time that we’ve long forgotten to take the time to check out as adults.

For most of us, I think we can experience a part of it. The freedom from pain isn’t part of it. Acceptance of life as it is, is what I think awakening is about. I think that’s what the Buddha was pitching when he implied that we could be freed of suffering. I like that approach because every time I think I found the magic Kool-Aid that would alleviate pain forever, pain would arrive at the door with a wilted bouquet in hand.

A psychic once asked me: how many happy spiritual types do you know? Good question. Most of them, most religious people, most philosophical, a big portion of people in general are pretty miserable because of the experience of pain, when it creeps in, and it will, ends up as such a debilitating experience, and is often a reminder of the deep inner hurt that is unresolved for many of us if not most of us (if not all).

I don’t like to admit it but at this point I must conclude that the deep inner hurt is a part life. I want to believe that I can do something to take care of others and shield them from hurt but the more I walk through life, the more I see that the deep inner hurt is there to help the Soul expand and grow. That’s all it is. I hated hurting. I hated feeling throughout my life. I loathed myself. I grew up hapa but looking white in Hawaii. I grew up hearing “Fuck you haole.” and being told I didn’t belong in Hawaii because of my skin. I loathed myself. I hated myself. I had so much hurt inside it crept out on my skin and I developed a bad case of eczema. My skin was disgusting. I hated my skin. I was not a happy camped to say the least. I didn’t understand others. I didn’t understand why I felt so disconnected from the outside world.

As I have gone through my never-ending quest of healing myself, as I strive to expand my consciousness further and further beyond the magic Kool-Aid, the more I realize I am always connected. The more I see that I am the common denominator through it all. That I can change how I view, I feel, and this is an amazing experience, to feel so alive when my Soul once felt so crushed…

I think awakening is being able to love the experience, each part of it, because love is real, it accepts, it’s loving to oneself to be able to accept all things in life as it is even if it means that you are feeling rage. That’s what I feel about that. I guarantee as I learn and expand more with each moment, that my understanding of that will expand as well. That’s awesome to me, that growth in that area is endless, that I can awake and grow more and more. That the sky for self-mastery, the top of the mountain for my conscious growth is infinite. That inspires me. Rather than think I have to get somewhere by a certain time, that I have to be anyone else but who I am in each moment, realizing that this is what I have, this is who I am right now. There is no supposed to. All there is, is where my foot is on the ground, my ass on a seat, eh, you get the picture.

Approaching it like that, especially since I had tried for so long to be present, to be mindful, to have all these experiences I read about books, in languages written long ago, helps me. Helps me put it together, see a oneness. And I hope this helps you.

But a Simple Book

This is just a book. Imagine if you will that when your Soul decided to cruise on through what New Agers call the Akashic Records and what others say God made or others still say about reincarnation, your Soul saw this really awesome book that it had to read. LIKE FO’REAL! Had to read. In every single moment, this book would be filled with such amazing twists and turns, such highs and lows, if the movie rights were optioned off, it’d be the greatest movie ever, better than Avatar, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Titanic, and the next box office breaker all combined. Hands down this book, that screenplay, the subsequent movie is the most amazing thing to ever be expressed in the world.

What if I told you, that is what your Soul did? It chose this book and its title, Life: Volume You (Insert Your Name Here), and your Soul wanted to experience, take in, live through all of what went in that book. I believe this to be the case. Adding the spiritual dimension to the picture of looking at life helps me make sense of the ups and downs. Helps me to see that on some deeper level that I’m experiencing and growing. I believe our Souls chose to be here. Chose our families. There are Souls out there waiting to choose many of us as parents.

You are here for a reason, for a purpose and that purpose is simple, you are here for Life. As your Soul sits right now, depending on who you may be, maybe it’s reading Chapter 40 and it all makes sense. Maybe it’s a shorter book and the Soul finished it and returned the book and went to celebrate what the famous Yogi Paramhansa (or Paramahansa depending on what you look at) Yogananda referred to as that holiday we all find at the end of each book about life. Maybe your Soul realized that it could write the parts just as well as it read…

Your life is a book. It is a movie. Be in it fully. Do that and no matter what pain, sorrow, joy, happiness comes up, you’ll always be okay. Because life is full, full of extremes in any given moment, and that’s okay, because if you take the time to look at it, to read it, to co-write it, you realize how okay it can be.

But a Simple Book (The Non-Soul Take)

Regardless of if you believe in reincarnation or not, you only have one life to live in this body, and I think that is pretty special. Do what you gotta do. So long as you aren’t hurting yourself or acting in a malicious fashion to others, live it to the fullest. There’s a great chance, very high probability that it’ll end sooner rather than later. You have all these spiritual types who talk about the Soul and going on and etc. Well, I’m going to quote JC: “The Kingdom of Heaven is within.” Don’t live for that day that you have no idea is going to come if it does or not. Live for that place inside, your Heart. It may be all that we got anyway. I hope there’s more beyond this. I’ve had some unexplainable things happen but who knows?

As much as I’m spiritual (gosh I cringe at that word because of the connotations that come with it), I am also human. I have doubt. I have a hard time making sense of so many things that happen. While I like to take the time to look at it from the Soul view, I also like to be a realist about it. Where I once hated feeling, being human, I now love that. Regardless of my meditative experiences, regardless of some of the magical things that have happened, at the end of the day, it’s just me, my thoughts, that quiet and still place when I choose to go there. I believe but I also have to be real with myself to honor my human experience fully. So what is it that I believe?

I believe in my Heart. I believe that life can be awesome even while it’s sucking. It’s just a frame of mind really. An approach. A perspective. And regardless of my Soul, something that I feel, I cannot prove that. Regardless if I believe beyond the illusion of this duality, that this, like many cultures say, is all a dream. I cannot prove a damn thing. It’s the story I’m telling. So I’m going to believe in life. And I am going to believe in me. That I can change. Because I have seen it and I have done it. I’ve watched my physical being change. I’ve experienced how my internal environment changes. Because I listen to what’s going on inside, this small voice, and it’s told me, over and over again: Choose Love, Jason. So I choose to believe in me, to see the world and how it reflects off of me, and to find the love in it. Because when it’s done, it’s done and I want to experience love, man.

LOL to LMAO to Frak

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So yesterday I put the stamp on finishing a book. I slept like four hours yesterday and today the same thing. It’s like no sleep for the weary. Can’t stop the restless. The only rest I crave is the final rest anyway, that’s the only rest that can be true release.

No, I don’t have a Death wish. It’s just I realize how it is the true liberation. The final freedom. I feel peace all the time. Peace in that I feel okay feeling what I do. But I still walk amongst this world. I’m still subject to the world around me. The chaos of my family, my friends, everything.

It’s a swirling vortex of energy. I can only smile at this point. I can laugh.

And I write.

And I write. I wrote a poem to exhale these thoughts, release them. It got deleted when I went to publish it. It was the second best poem I ever crafted. Literally. The first I said to the Soul of the moon from the depths of my Soul to the Soul of the one I love. That one is lost to the ethers. It’s carried in Spirit.

So I write. I write about writing…

I began another book. It’s my only escape, the only one worth pursuing. I can turn the phone off. I can shut it all out. I don’t have to check out the internet at home because my roommate can’t figure out how to set it up. I don’t have to take people to appointments because they have other people who they can call. I don’t have to housesit and organize my life around others. I chose this life. I chose this experience. I created it. I own it. I set up this game. Even more do I see the value in pursuing my path. In believe. I’m one step closer today than I was yesterday.

It’s a process.

It’s a journey. One day I’ll be free. Truly free. I’m going to enjoy all this. I shed a tear when it comes. I’ll smile when that comes. I’ll just be. As I am. Who I am. I can do all things. I can do all things to Love that strengthens me. My inner me.

So LOL. So LMAO. So Frak!

Breathe in. Breathe out. I am calm. I was okay venting. I was okay feeling the range of swirl around me, feel the expectations of others around me. I’m okay with that. I breathe. I walk. I’m okay.

Observe and Report

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A few years back, a movie, Observe and Report, starring Seth Rogen, was released and for whatever reason, I totally vibed on it. Observe and Report has to be one of the oddest movies that I have seen, like a dark Napoleon Dynamite, but I think I finally figured out why I liked it…

I liked the title. Plain and simple, it spoke to me, maybe it’s commanded me. As I go through life and observe all around, see the giant, ever unfolding, walking meditation at play, I can’t help but report. I suppose because it seems so many of us want to relate to what is going on and find the meaning. And regardless of anyone else, it is who I am.

I’ve always seen the meaning, sometimes after the fact, sometimes I denied it, but I always saw meaning in what I experienced. One of the most common things I get from people is: wow, I thought I was a deep thinker, but you take it further. I do this, in that I tend to present things in a way that people haven’t thought before, not necessarily that I’m uncovering anything new but I feel like my role is to share and why not.

The Buddha said that there can be a life without suffering and still filled with pain. I have felt angry, sad, rage, jaded many times in recent weeks. But I don’t suffer because of it. I watch it. I see each seated at the same table with Love, Joy, etc. and I enjoy it all. I enjoy each experience because it is teaching me so much each day, sometimes many points of expansion throughout. It is so odd for me to report that I observe each feeling as I go through it because I used to hate feeling. Today I feel okay about that. I feel okay feeling what I do because I am able to observe it.

Thank you for the opportunity to Observe and Report regarding this beautiful mess of a messy beauty.

Okay-Ness

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“Change yourself. That is enough.” ~ Paramahansa Yogananda

Yogananda is the man. Hands down. If I may opine, and I will, he has strung together some wonderful teachings, in a simple fashion, that are applicable regardless of creed, and cover all the bases. Like seriously, he has enough discussion on God and Jesus for the Christians and oneness, reincarnation, etc. for everyone else.

As I continue to pursue my own change, each day, sometimes multiple points of expansion throughout, I realize how stubborn and set in my ways I was. For wanting to be out of the box. I totally boxed myself in. For believing that we are meant to fly in life, I didn’t even allow my wings to spread. It was always my own cage, the worst cage, the cage of my mind.

I always jumped around too. First a cage of fear, then into the cage of love. Or bad, or good. Whatever b/c I realize that everything that happens, happens, and that is okay, the moment just is. Everything, as it is, is okay. Breaking up can be devastating and liberating. Death can be filled with sorrow and transformation. Every possible expression is within each moment and we choose how to view the moment. And that is okay.

I like okay versus peace, b/c though I feel peace, peace is hard to relate to. But most people can relate to okay because it’s a base point. For example: “How are you feeling? Happy, sad? Nah, I’m okay.” The extremes keep us out of the okay-ness vibe.

In reality, Light and Dark sit next to one another. Good and Bad live on the same block, in fact, they walk their dogs together at night after work. Point being, the moment as it is, is completely okay. It is where our awareness is directed upon the different elements within each moment that impact the interpretation of the experience. So for the hippies, it is all sunshine and rainbows. For the fear-mongers, the world is going end.

We cannot change a damn thing about the world but we don’t have to. We need only change ourselves by allowing the okay-ness of the moment, allowing the balance of nature to be as it is, present, always.

Thank you Yogananda and all the people I meet each day, old friends, new, for all the teachings you share with me. I feel Okay and that makes me stoked.