Tag Archives: awakening

Aum Vol. 3: Empti-Ness

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I am in the process of saying good-bye to a broken Mirror…

In recognizing the broken Mirrors, seeing the shattered reflections and putting those pieces together in my own Life, it seems to be there are no Mirrors, at least at this stage of the game, because I have gazed deep in All, and have found the Love in and for them.

This One is hard because it is so close to my own broken elements.  It also symbolizes the end of a Dream…

As I realized last night that I had completed a Dream cycle that began nearly three years ago, I sent Love to this Being and thanked God for filling me in so many ways.  I gave praise for realizing that though I enjoyed Rage, and Anger was fuel for so long, I had found and felt that fueling with Love is so much better for where I am at.

I would go to sleep and have a Dream where I was in a room filled with Mirrors and was throwing a baseball underhand at each until there were no more Mirrors.  It was telling because it ended with me taking the ball and lobbing at a book at the end of a row of 6 books.  It’s cover a deep Red.

What began as a Narrative Poem, led into my first work on Okay-Ness, then A Call to Love, The Tales of Mr. E, It’s Sequel, and Now Here, the sixth, AUM Vol. 1, which is going to go to print.  It is no coincidence that today, I made my last payment for the publication of this sixth book and the woman I spoke with was named Phoenix.

The Phoenix, a symbol of arising from the ashes to be reborn.  To break down all the Mirrors, to accept the reflections as my own and to see clearly why I am here, not to struggle, but to fly, the process from Death to Rebirth itself.  This has been a powerful Journey that I have been on.  I watched, listened, felt the pull intensify recently as this Mirror explained frustration at certain things but then cut me down for the same.  A contradiction?  A lack of seeing that what angered this Mirror was Its own reflection?  My own behavior from the past that kept me shackled becoming more and more apparent.

The Journey of each is unique.  But that Mirror no longer has anything that It can teach me.  Living like that only burns. The Buddha’s teachings have a beautifully applicable saying: Anger is like holding a hot coal in One’s hand with the intent at throwing it at another…

I feel Love, I feel sadness.  Love because I can finally accept this place within my own Being.  Sadness because it was the only Truth, the Me Against the World, that I knew for so long, not necessarily because it was True, but because it was the only reflection that I allowed.

I Love You.

I also said these words in a context to another Mirror, One that gave me balance.  That Mirror would say that our experience helped her to find herself.  I felt the same.  I am so grateful for that balancing Mirror.  Extremely happy that I no longer feel any anger or frustration over what occurred though at one time, I truly questioned what was happening in my Life.  But it was all of that made me realize that I had to choose Love.  It may sound cliche, but in choosing Love, that is the only Peace that I have ever consistently known, and my Life gets better and better each day because of that practice.

I was asked yesterday if I had a religion.  I believe Aloha ke Akua.  God is Love.  I guess if I had to say so, I believe in Love (see above about Love being the only thing that has helped me to be set free).

Love always protects. Always believes. Always hopes. Always endures.  Love never fails.

Nor does it end if we empty out all the other stuff.

THX to All my wonderful teachers, the Beautiful Mirrors!  It’s been quite the ride and I am excited to walk into whatever shall be next.

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: Complete?

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“I feel 95% complete.”  JMAW

I sat there in almost a role reversal.  I was with my former teacher, listening to her current frustration in not being able to manifest a new place, wanting it to happen immediately versus when it does.  Then I said those words out of the blue, like a reminder for both her and I.  I recalled the words of my former student telling me that when my arm sleeve was done, I would feel complete.

One more session.  We began it in May.  It concludes in a week.  This tattoo tells my personal myth, how undertaking the Spiritual Journey and walking in blind Faith through spiritual crisis, as hard as it was at times, sticking with it brought me home within.   I had to go through the looking glass, encounter my animal spirit, grapple with all the energy of my psyche, submit, work with it, hug it.  I had to see that the pressures of living are there to shape the the diamond that exists within each facet and shape life takes.

It’s funny because even today, I walk in Spirit strong, but in body with a limp, the calf tear painfully marking step.  It’s as though the roles have reversed there as well.  A year ago my body was okay but inside, within I was torn apart.  It wasn’t just the culmination of the illusion I bought into for happiness dissolving time and time again, it was thousands upon thousands of lifetimes of the Soul, thousands upon thousands of experiences in this lifetime, that carried a wound that needed tending.  A disconnect from the Source, from the well-spring of Love that is everywhere when one allows it…

Each piece to this tattoo is another part of the ritual.  In July of last year, my life was torn apart by the storm that is the Flow.  The Diamond Thief of my Soul sneaking out to shake it up, knowing what the future held and painting signs along the way for my conscious mind just to Flow with it.

One more year has passed in my life and each year it gets better and better.  I feel it in my health, my attitude towards life.  I have gone beyond being hopeful.  I have gone beyond belief: I now know… who I am.  I don’t know how life will be but trust that life will carry me through whatever unfolds because the worst thing that happened yet, that I could have imagined did, and I made it through, better inside than I ever dreamed.

So here I stand, lol, with a walking stick in hand, this segment of my journey near complete.  In essence, we are always complete.  It is always there but it takes walking through the journey and taking the untrodden turns to remember the energy that makes up who we really are: magical beings and powerful spirits.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds.  The future is uncertain.  But no matter what, I believe I will guided back home, to the Now and be okay wherever I am in life.

Mahalo ke Akua.

It may be one more session, the journey will continue, but my personal myth and how I found God, found Love, found myself, episode one, is already complete.  Then I’ll add to it as we go…

Note: from Tumblr