Category Archives: Adventures in Urban Mysticism Volume 3

Praise. Gratitude. Love.

My Teacher/Friend, Adya, is always telling me about her experience in training as a Monk, and one of the techniques she learned involved repeating:

“Praise. Gratitude. Love.”

When I first saw the statue of the Blessed Mother at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City, my eyes immediately filled with tears because in that moment, those were the three words that I felt.

The Blessed Mother is symbolic of Hope for a great many around the world. She has appeared in many different ways and fashions and it is a great honor to share this picture with you. Though it is not the statue that drove me to tears, this one made me smile, so I wish to share that bit with you.

Enjoy.

AUM: Lift Off

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Lyrics from Kanye West, Runaway
And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin’ wrong
You been puttin’ up wit’ my shit just way too long
I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for us to have a toast

The tapping of the keys pulls me in and I am amidst my melancholy, right as it is sitting there next to my Joy. Then the rest of the instrumental comes along and I am reminded of how critical I can be. How I am in fact, my own worst enemy. Then Kanye comes along and sums it up:

And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin’ wrong…

Nothing, in my entire Life, has ever been good enough. Not by anyone elses standards, but my own. I remember the first time I failed to get an A in grade school, or the first spelling bee that I ever lost at an even younger age, I was rocked, my Inner Perfectionist appalled at the fact that I had, in fact failed. Failed to live up to my own standard coupled with how I failed to find success according to the standards outside of me. I still struggle in both of those areas. I grapple with it every day.

A friend tells me to #Believe. I laugh. My Jaded Spirit sees it, the enthusiasm at such an idea. “I am Hitch.” I reply. Promoting a product that works and so many seek but at times, I do not always really vibe with and that is a hard pill to swallow. As I mentioned in my first exploration into publication, I want to believe that Love is enough, that two people in Love can work and be, but on the real, not in this world, not in the way it is, for I have seen enough of it to know that our Collective Consciousness occupies a vast expanse that covers Light, Dark, and the Grey in-between. I have seen, I have felt, I have known… Love. That has taught me that Love has many colors and there is a reason that Inner Child gets slapped from time to time. The Child does not know the fire is burning or forgets all to quickly how much it burns. Is it that I have lost my ideals?

Am I losing my way?

Nah, it is just not being honest, not looking at the whole picture or acknowledging it has not gotten me very far, has in fact added to the amount that I have fallen down. I see some people talk about how happy they are, just to hear themselves say it because in fact, I hear how the words hide the pain. On the flip side, I see someone so consumed in hurt, does nothing to hide it, I feel as s/he fails to see the beauty, oftentimes right before her/his very eyes. The World needs Love, especially the way it is, and I will never say that it does not nor advocate against it.

(And I want to show you how you all look like beautiful stars tonight)

Yeezy’s voice sings in the backdrop. I laugh, I must have told damn near a thousand people since I first said it in the middle of last year to this time now:

“Do you know why stars sparkle? Because you do, it is your own reflection.”

I do not believe in True Love with someone else as it is often portrayed. I believe in True Love with myself. I found that, I do not always feel it but that is Life, it is not always being in control or on a peak, so I can accept it. What I believe can exist with others is Transcendental Love, based on choice. I believe that all we need is One, everything else is bonus, but that is how I am wired, a wiring that gets more apparent as the days go by and strip away who I thought I was and recognize what it is that I do and do not need.

“People make Love all sorts of emotional, get so caught up in it.” Adya tells me. I agree because I can be the same way. Do I need that? Did not that drive once motivate me? It seems so foreign now, the neediness of that type of chase, it is replace by other drives, so while maybe I addressed that one area, others remain to be taken care of.

I shall not sigh. I have a lot more time, I am only just getting started they say, so…

I shall just Love. Real Love, whatever that means (to me). My Journey is not perfect, but it is mine, so I will own it.

AUM Vol. 3: Redemption

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Note: This is an old post, I debated whether putting it up or not because of the sensitivity of what occurred. May those who were directly impacted in Colorado be cared for and may some sense of release enter all of those tormented by this.

I watched The Dark Knight Rises over the weekend and I thought about a great many things. The artistic brilliance of this work was overshadowed by the atrocity in Colorado, a State that has seen its fair share of tragedy, from Columbine to this most recent occurrence. I have written previously about Scars, and how how Heath Ledger and his portrayal of The Joker asked the question about his scars. In my writing, I explored those scars, my wounds and have shared how processing them has been healing. Someone told me yesterday that one day, you wake up and you realize that the Pain is gone. I am not quite there yet…

When I was younger, I had so much Hurt and over time, that Pain was only cared for by the masks that I wore. I am ready to take off that mask and allow Love to sit in its place. It is the only thing time and time again that has made any sense and given me any type of release or redemption for what I have experienced thus far.

Spoiler Alert: I comment on Batman again because here, we have been given Bane, a character who wears a mask, symbolically, what gives him release from the Pain he experienced in his own Life, and in this incarnation of Batman, that he received while protecting a Child.

As I interpret the Dream around me, I see that the Anger was all that I knew, because I did not understand myself nor did I have any clue about what was going on in the World around me. This lack of understanding and my own inability to find a way to actually find meaning kept me in a perpetual cycle of Hurt. But I did it to protect that own part, the Inner Child, that received the hurt to begin with and where the lack of understanding arises in the first place.

Our Souls come into this World and are expressed purely as children. Jesus said: Be like the little Children. He said this because they were in Truth. Whether that Truth was of happiness or sadness, a Child is truly present. The sad thing is that the world does not always appreciate this because so many of us are disconnected and wearing masks of our own to protect the Hurt within that we each endured. As result, the purity of Truth receives wounds from the masks that others wear.

It is not the fault of God. Nor is it the fault of our parents. Society is not even to blame. No one is specifically is the cause. We just have not known how to listen in a way that serves us. How can we when the Path for each of us is the only way to heal in the first place?

If the World is to change, it starts within each of us and it is imperative that we take the time to heal ourselves, to work, to grow, and connect, I believe spiritually for in so doing, that is the only way to realize connection fully and allow Love to breathe. It can also help us to stop this cycle that we perpetuate of creating more hurt.

I do not know if there will be a Utopia, an ideal state where we coexist peacefully. But I do believe it possible for us to enrich our Lives by knowing our Souls, and that extremes such as occurred the in Colorado can be prevented not because of Law of Man, but because Law of Spirit, one of balance, wholeness, and caring.

AUM Trinity: The Truth Is…

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Yesterday was Dream-Like / Today has the feel of a Movie / Tomorrow is not yet of concern /
Like the Movie that’s playing / And the Dream that has passed/ I’ll let whatever Now moves me /To describe that Tense at Last….

The Dream Plus The Movie Became the Poem That is this Life…

The Truth is that Life is like a Dream… A truly wonderful tapestry, filled with beautiful imagery, mystique, and otherworldly magic.

The Truth is that Life is like a Movie… An epic story being told and unfolding around us, each day, sometimes many times a day, in the grand sense, one giant story weaving together to tell us each who we truly are.

The Truth is that Life is Poetry… A testament in words, dancing all around us and that encompasses the fullness of the experience of a Human+Being.

And The Truth with all of the above? Well, That Truth includes Pain, Sorrow, Hate, Fear. It includes all of that because in order to traverse this plane of experience and be set Free in Love, one must know who that One Is, within each and everyone.

Too Esoteric? Too sensitive? Too much like a balloon? Only just getting started Friends…

And like that song goes about ra ra with that Nina, guess what Homies? #ImCashinOut

AUM Trinity: Bullet Scars, Tattoos, and the Mystic Poet Rumi

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A few days ago, I began reading some material by Deepak Chopra, you know, some of that goodness filled with some metaphysical reminders about abundance and how the Universe is Love, the kind of things that I look for in Life and enjoy writing about. On Saturday, I had a very Love enchanted day in variety of ways and just like the title reads: Bullet Scars, Tattoos, and Rumi.

But first:

I Love me some Rumi!

Rumi was one of the crazy Mystic Sufi cats who was all blissed out by Life Itself and seeking out God in everything. The way that he addresses the Beloved in All Things is amazing to me and a great reminder that even in some of the Darker moments in which we may find ourselves, God and Love are All around, embracing us Always in All Ways, we need only take the time to see.

Now back to Saturday…

I was working one of my many jobs (5 and growing) and a woman walks up with a unique tattooed quote around a scar. As I looked at it, I saw that “Rumi” followed the quote. I was a little tickled because I had just been reflecting that morning on a line from Rumi:

There is a field out beyond right and wrong. I will meet you there.

And I thought it was pretty cool that this Lady had a Rumi tattoo. As a tattoo lover myself, I have a unique relationship with my own tattoos and how they chronicle elements of my own Journey. Tattoos are a spiritual medicine, a ritual that reminds me of where I have been, and are also a physical example of how one can heal and have beauty within the memory left behind, even if it comes with a scar. This woman had a similar reminder for the scar that her Rumi tattoo surrounded was caused from a gunshot. She did not go into detail about how she was shot but she did talk about how grateful she was to be alive.

“It is a reminder to appreciate every day…”

On Friday, just prior to meeting this woman, I Re-Tweeted Mixed Martial Artist and Former WWE Champion Bobby Lashley, who shared his own story of meeting a War Veteran and how it was a reminder to be grateful. @fightbobby would tweet me, @jmaw808, and even shared: “How can someone Love with Hate in their Heart.” I was stoked because earlier in the week I joked about getting tweets from a celebrity as I had received a RT from an up and coming singer, who I tweeted to keep following her dreams, or something along those lines…

To some I may be preachy, to others I have been called too idealistic but I have to say that there is nothing wrong with promoting Love. If we look all around, we can see that there are so many reasons to welcome Love in All Its shapes and forms. In my opinion, Love is our Truth and is a necessity that we can no longer afford to ignore. I was pretty tickled at how the Universe gave me a few unique interactions with people I have never met before, not only in the stories that I shared, but also dancing in the beautiful eyes of two small twins, their beautiful babysitter, Jordan, a friend from college who has fought her own battles and overcome, and so many more.

It is a beautiful Life when one lets Beauty Be.

AUM Trinity: Thai Walls

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So in light of the fact that I do some Social Media Management and Strategy for different businesses and organizations, somehow I missed the mention of Starbucks Thai Wall drink craze…

A few weeks ago, while going to one of my Part-Time gigs, I asked my co-worker if she wanted something from Starbucks because one of my guilty pleasures is coffee. She made some insane thing up that I thought was fake and too long to remember and she had to write it down for me but all I know it was iced, a flavored tea, and included Thai Walls. I used to work at Starbucks many moons ago and still have some friends from those times who do work there. Last night, was the first time I learned of the hatred towards Thai Walls when lil ole me ordered it myself to see what it was like…

“I hate those drinks. Everybody gets that. All because someone put it on their Twitter…”

I could feel the part of me, the innocent who had no idea, try to justify, try to fight the conformist element because I really had no idea that there was this Thai Walls trend to begin with. As I watched that part within me writhe, albeit for approval from friends, who weren?t mad at me but more upset about their work, I could only smile and laugh for at the very least I was aware of it. As I drank the drink, which I didn?t particularly enjoy, I wondered if I didn?t enjoy it because I truly did not, or because that other part of me wanted to punish myself. So often can we get trapped in the musings of others that we forget to enjoy our own stories, ya know?

In this day and age, I don?t really care if I?m labeled or if other people judge me. I?ve lived too long to get wrapped up in that but it is easy to do so if one is tired or not conscious of the effect that others, their thoughts, and beliefs can have as we walk through our own lives.

Life is but a dream…

AUM Vol. 3: Lines Blurring Into One

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“Human Beings to a God, what’s a God to a King, what’s a King to God, what’s a God to a Non-Believer, who don’t believe a thing… No Church in the Wild.” ~ Frank Ocean on Watch the Throne by Jay-Z and Kanye West

I first heard Frank Ocean on an Odd Future Mixtape late last year. The emotion that gets communicated through his voice and well all of the Odd Future, Golfwang Collective of artists is pure creativity and expression.

Hip-Hop, Rap, and shoot even R&B has at times been lumped into one category or another. Whether it be Gangsta (Rap) or baby making music (R&B), whenever we lump something into one, it takes that one to go against the grain that makes us think, even if it’s just a slight bit different…

Listening to Channel Orange, Ocean’s new album, something just felt so free about it. I like movies because it allows me to think and at times take a ride But with music, it is like Truth in feeling and for me, as I have felt in Nature, and great momentary encounters along the Al-Oneness of this Journey that gives me the greatest reminders that I am not alone because I can feel the connection.

I have walked this Spiritual Path, seeing, finding, hearing Love and God in All, and in so doing, I feel free. My usual process is to read, watch videos, or look at the background of Artists, to see where they’ve been. To my surprise, I learned earlier that Frank Ocean openly expressed having had a same-sex love earlier in his Life, and I realized why the freedom was communicated right there. He wasn’t afraid to share who he was with the world because he accepted all parts of him.

In the Hip-Hop World, it’s still pretty Alpha. For Ocean to express himself without fear, was liberating not only to himself but gives a Voice to people who didn’t know if it was okay to be themselves, black, white, green, straight, gay, Asian, Martian, Comet, Cupid, Rudolph, whatever, however.

I relate to this because I am finding my own Freedom and Liberation through acceptance of this Spiritual Human+Being that I am and have always been but I did not want to share because I did not know how it would be received.

“They’ll lynch you in the South if you talk like that.” An Australian gent told me while I was on my Vision Quest. Old sentiments die hard but we have to be who we are, truly, madly, deeply, always.

I was so afraid, so fearful before of pursuing the spiritual work and letting it fill my entire Life. I had a hard time walking this Path because I wanted others to believe in it before I did, to do the work for me. Ultimately healing my wound of spiritual disconnect and also in just Loving and being Okay with Life as it is, has always been my work, and my gift that I can share with others, who may also be afraid of ‘coming out’ spiritually.

I have felt conflict, I have struggled and in finally pushing out of the cocoon spiritually, letting myself be this cat with a different view and share it in all aspects of Life (a job, a bar, with whoever) because it is who I am and that sets me free. Loving and letting that part of me Breathe, I am finally Okay with me, as I am, however am I along the Path.

Thank you Mr. Ocean for putting your Soul into your work and I commend you for your courageousness in Life. You’ve inspired me to believe even more in what I’m doing and I hope that my words can inspire others out there because this work is also like Kid Cudi said: “For the kids just like me.”

“Your Love is my Scripture.” ~ Also from No Church in the Wild

AUM Vol. 3: The Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)

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“Blink, blink! Think, think!” ~Digable Planets

This week has been all about watching the waking dream. The other night, my friend, a Cancer, and later about five other Cancers would talk to me about living a Life of Love, unbeknownst to one another. My Venus, the planet governing Love in Astrology is in Cancer so I found it to be quite fascinating really. This came right after a Police Car had passed to my left that day and I heard: Security is to walk into the unknown, where you will always be protected and served.

In many ways, we have it backwards with our logic but I digress…

Two fellow Geminis, who are born interestingly enough on the same day, would drop some comments that mirrored the deep recesses of my own mind, which for me, my Mercury, which rules the mind and thinking, is also in Gemini to couple my Gemini Sun, so needless to say, there’s alot of back and forth going on between my ears sometimes so to hear it from these two, quite amazing. A Scorpio would very intensely come at me passionately with what he was doing, which of course, goes a bit with my own Scorpio moon, and well, so on and so forth.

Tonight, I thought about far I had come by taking care of my own healing and not making my role to take on the struggle of another person’s wound. Chiron, the Wounded Healer in Mythology, deals with wounds in Astrology and in this life, my Chiron had to do with self-worth and neglect, themes my Inner Child really grappled with for a long time. Most wounds stem back to the Inner Child, who struggles with self-worth, acceptance, Love, Faith, and/or other/all of the above. Ultimately, the wound is the perceived duality that we are not One with God (you can say whatever works for you), but tending to and Loving the Inner Child is a great step in getting there.

As I was closing up shop at one of my PT gigs (I juggle four jobs, one FT, three PT, oh yeah and I do this writing sh!t too, ha!) and pondering this, the dream answered with a lad walking in the open door. Our shop was closed entirely but I had the door open to let in some breeze while I finished a few things up and in walks ole boy, erm, young boy, eh, you get the picture.

So Dude rolls in and asks me if we were open for service. I replied that we were closed and he walked away. I was immediately hit by the fact that what I had thought, about how I had to take care of my own and not sacrifice it for another, brought a Mirror back to me, a dreamlike echo… I could only laugh in amazement at all of this. A few years back I told my former Mentor, I felt like I had something to offer that follows up where Joseph Campbell left off. I didn’t know what that meant at the time and I dare not say I know exactly now but the studies of the dreams, learning their language and being able to teach and share such with others is definitely becoming a service I have to offer. Even if is just done by leaving clues or brutal honesty.

Sometimes the only Path is to leave a trail behind that you blazed. In many ways, it can be like that for each of us, our lives have just that potential. But how many of us wonder off into the Wilderness eternally?

Aloha no. And thank you for this Life. It truly is a Gift no matter what may be going on.

“And I’m cool like dat, I’m cool like dat, I jive like dat, I funk like dat… We out!” ~ Digable Planets

AUM Vol. 3: Marriage

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Yesterday, I performed my first wedding here in the State of Hawaii. It was truly an awe-inspiring experience. I have never felt more natural. It was like in that experience, I felt confirmation that a big part of why I am here in this day and age, is to bring people together.

When I was but a child, I wanted to help the world. As I grew and went to college, I was all about bringing together the community, building community. It’s like I went from Super Macro to Micro Macro to this yesterday, where I had the experience to facilitating a ritual that solidifies the bond two people take in committing to one another. It was pretty amazing to help two become One.

A year back, I attended a reception for two friends who informed me that there daughter would be conceived after they partied at my House after work a few years back. It was crazy to see where they had been, how they had grown and to witness. Yesterday, the wedding I performed was for a friend whom I met around the same time as I met that couple years ago. In recent months, a few people I did spiritual work for got engaged or married. Though the Love is theirs, I played a unique role in all of these relationships. It’s kind of surreal to think about.

I have been pretty Lone Wolf these days (even though wolves roll in packs). I accepted that my role is something of Pathfinder and have spent alot of time alone over the last two years in particular but throughout my Life, Alone with Spirit, seeking to understand God so that I may heal and heal those around me. My name, Jason, means healer, so it would be appropriate that I would seek such a Path.

“You have worked very hard on yourself, Dear.” The words of my Teacher/Friend/Student today. “Not just in the time we’ve known each other, but your whole Life.”

In that space, I have found the hole inside to be filled whole by finding God, who is Love, within, and seeing That Which IS mirrored all around me. As I have walked this trek, it has been wild, unbeaten, and was filled with Death and Release. So to witness the union of two people as the one tasked with bringing them together shook me to the core.

In the last post, I discussed True Love. True Love is real and it is within. I believe that. But I also have to believe that it can be shared between two people. As I observed the play around me, as I felt the Love between the two of them, I had proof, proof in a time when admittedly, I had given the idea up.

Many times we wait until something shows up in our own lives, and then, sometimes it is too late, because we miss what lies right before us. We don’t have to miss it, we need only accept that Love is already here. To feel it is to know it, to know Love is to Believe, and to Believe is to Allow, and to Allow, well, that’s a big part of Faith. By allowing Life to be, for Love to fill us, we can accept whatever we are thrown. Because sometimes, what we’re thrown is another hill to climb, another wall to scale, a murky moat to cross. And in the climbing, scaling, and crossing, we find a deeper appreciation for that which matters most to us.

The sun set majestically yesterday, it went well, I didn’t feel nervous. I might not have been the one getting married but it was the first wedding for a good friend, so I was stoked to feel natural. As the night ended, the Groom gave me the garter and I laughed. He said: “You know what this means… you’re next.”

I’ve had visions, I’ve seen Angels, Demons, and so on. I don’t know what is going to come into my Life but I say thank you for the Love that is already Here and Now. If marriage is next in my Life, cool. If not, I’m going to keep on like Aerosmith and Walk This Way because it is fulfilling to do so.

Congrats to April and Adrian. Thank you for the honor and may you both be blessed Always.

AUM Tres: Diarrhea of the Mouth

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My very first Mentor was a rather intense person. He had the oddest way of motivating people and though I have borrowed some of his methods, I have not used many of them because they are non-applicable and/or it is not time for me to use such methodology. Though I do recall once how he did say that I suffered from a condition called: Diarrhea of the Mouth.

The chatter that flows out my Mouth is not nearly as bad as the Sh!t swirling around in my brain sometimes…

I would consider myself to be a fairly Aware cat because I truly value conscious living. I strive each day to find the deeper meaning, to grow, to connect further in Spirit, yet the fall from the peaks grows greater the Higher we climb along the Mountain of the Lord. Sometimes there is so much Sh!t in the Mind, it is no wonder things get clogged and I stumble.

I have recently immersed myself in a more consistent prayer routine. I do not know why but all of a sudden in recent months the amount that I pray has gone up greatly, probably because sometimes it is the only thing I can do that makes me feel better, gives me courage and strength to keep going after a brutal fall from a peak (which I am quite good at). What began as a child as once before bed, tapered off as an adult to infrequently, to pretty regular is now like meals for me. And not just the three squares but it?s more like the high metabolism 5-7 times a day.

And the clear epiphany of today was, Damn, I really do ask for alot. As I watched the swirling and am learning to be more focused in prayer, I felt the presence with me. I feel it Always when I meditate and in certain circumstances where I am moved or feel protected, but in prayer, I feel like I am truly held and protected. As I became aware of all the asking, I did not stifle it, rather, I allowed myself to say more than just one thank you as well. One of my most recent teachers would often share how she sometimes would Thank God for everything, whether it be a leaf, a bird, a sunset, whatever, but any and all things.

So I began to thank. I thanked God for still listening to me. I know a ton of people in my Life who have stopped or cut me out when they had too much. Lord knows I have stopped listening to a great many myself along the way. I also thanked for what I have, which might not be considered much by many, but man, two years ago in July, my Life went South and I lost everything. Lost my job, relationship, with that where I lived, sense of identity. I even lost my Grandfather for extra emphasis. It was the worst ever to happen to me and worse yet has happened a few other times since but that first worst, truly rock bottom, man, that showed how much I needed God in my Life.

Here I am two years, two long, too very short years and I now have budding careers in a variety of endeavors that I enjoy, a closer relationship with my family, my own place, good health, great friends, and feel my relationship with Life all around me. That?s the greatest thing that I have these day because I have a sense of well-being and happiness that I attribute totally to my choice to believe.

Alot of people out there don?t like the concept of God or not having control. I can accept that and not say they are wrong. The same as I can accept and allow by choosing to believe in what God has shown me and releasing control because in my Path, in this Life, it?s what I needed most, when I was most lost.

Thank You for finding me adrift and giving me a Light when I needed it Most.